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11/16 – I am the secondary ingredient in my favorite snack.


Photo by Andrea Rothe.

There’s nothing like snacking on yourself. I mean, I enjoy a Kasugai Peanut as much as the next fellow but that’s not why I’m such a big fan of their product. They go the extra mile. A lot of snackateurs put themselves into their product, figuratively and spiritually. It’s what means the difference between a potato chip covered in piss and shit and Pringles*.

I appreciate their effort but what really gets my gears turning is when they put a little of me in their product. Figuratively and literally. Fuck I need a knuckle for?

Kasugai Peanuts have the best me and that’s why I love them! I don’t know how they do it, what with dozens of bags on the shelves. Somehow I always luck out and buy a bag that features both Kasugai Peanuts and myselfs.

There’s a reason they won the Chairperson’s Award in the 2009 Crunch Panel, Her Majesty’s Delight Trophy for the Decade, and the Arbitrary Crawfish Prize on the Random Snack Mascot Committee’s summer ballot.


* As a young man I bought a tube of Pringles Sour Cream & Onion chips. This was in the late 80’s I believe. Inside was a whole bunch of chips and a golf ball sized lump of their sour cream and onion flavoring spruced up with about 100 dead ants mixed in. I did not eat that. In fact, if I knew better I probably could have made a nice amount of dough because I went from being a Pringles addict to being a Fuck Pringles in the span of one ant ball.