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11/11 – Snickers stole the marketing slogan from Cap’n Stabbin’.

Photo by Nick Nunziata.

I understand tying your marketing to the subject matter of where you’re advertising. For example, Snickers.

A few scenarios:

Advertising during Lost‘s commercial break:

“When you’re at a LOST for time and need energy, choose Snickers!”

Or for Dancing with the Stars:

“You’re a douchebag for watching this show. Snickers!”

Or a sports app for the iPhone:

“This ought to satiate your APPetite!”

Down. Set. Nut.

There is no period in Earth’s history where that was a good slogan. I know that ‘nut’ rhymes with ‘hut’, the last thing a quarterback says before receiving his brown load from the butt of the man bent over in front of him. As a rhyming joke, it’s fine. Except ‘nut’ is also a misanthropic reference to ejaculate. Sexual preferences vary, but I don’t think Snickers thought this one through. This almost as bad at Milky Way’s ‘Fuck an ass a while, willya?’ campaign from 1992 and I’m even going to mention Little Debbie’s ‘Crunch till you’re barren’ effort.