I promised my friend, the demon from Paranormal Activity, that I’d pass along this letter to all you intelligent film fans. Please read the entire body before passing judgment on me or my demon friend. I think this letter proves that none of us get to choose who we fall in love with.



Dear Mr. Chud,

AAAARRRGH!!!

Am demon. Am 1/10000000000 of Legion. All activity Paranormal Activity, when demon. Movie demonize. Mr. Chud set story straight.

Escape Hell. Find wonderful country (Urth). Filled with women. Love women. Love gigantic breasts.

Find girl. Future gigantic breasts (can tell. look at frame). Sit end bed, watch future boobies rise/fall. So hot. Set house fire. Burn future breasts. Has sister. Pretty face inside chubby face. Equal breast. Good enough.

Grows up huge. Breasts huge. Gets huge apartment. Loves literature huge. Meets huge bag of douche.

Douche take breasts love literature unseriously. Jerkface! Insensitive to breasts needs. Decide will haunt till leave.

Won’t leave. Camera instead. Now Jokeface! Must try more-der. Harder, mean.

Breasts stand look at douche all night on breasts own accord. Not involved w/that.

Buy weegee bord. Try use. Ungood speller. Write “luv u bwest grl…xoxo!” So hot, tho. Set bord fire.

Day Trade Douche set flour floor. Allergic feet. Ouchie. Escape make drop sentimental photo. Douche take. Damn U Douche!

Punch Douche picture. Feel good.

Breasts wake, do stand thing again, scream downstair, throw Douche into camera, smell Douche buttcheek, eat camera. All on breasts own accord. Not involved w/that.

Movie say, still no find. Miss breasts. Breasts crazy can’t hurt demon. Demon not a-live. Find her, email pls… pacmania87@mountaindew.org

Me take one day at time. Pease out.