I was driving home through Harlem after catching a late screening of The Signal with a friend yesterday (a bit of a mess of a movie, with some great moments…) when we hear the familiar whoop whoop and flashing lights of a cop car. My friend works with cops all the time, and has a unique relationship with them, to say the least. He pulls over, the cops saunter over, and the usual “Is there a problem officer?” conversation starts. Sort of.

(Note- this is almost word for word.)

Cop- “Your headlight’s out.”

“Really? My headlight’s out? Which one? I thought I was speeding!”

“The passenger sid… you thought you were speeding?” (starts to chuckle)

“Yeah! I was pretty sure I was doing something wrong.”

The cop starts cracking up and saying that this was the first time he heard that line. Thankfully he didn’t give him a ticket for that, and he instead got the usual “fix your headlight in 24 hours” notice. But man, was I laughing as soon as the cops walked away. Bad enough we’re two white boys in the hood (and got the usual “What are you guys up to tonight?” line. Just buying crack, officer!) but don’t just give them something like that!