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10/26 – “Remember the time Michael Winslow came to Dad’s Funeral?”


Photo by Brian Sullivan.

“Hello, you’ve reached 100 + Voices.”


“Good afternoon. I just lost a loved one in a horrible accident
and heard you were the salve our diminished family needs
as we send our beloved into the next phase of existence.”



“I’ve discovered that grief is easily dispatched when I break out my Lee Van Cleef.”


“I don’t mean to tell you your business, but I was hoping
you could brighten our closed casket funeral with a little
Christopher Walken. Maybe mention that the interment
could use a little more cowbell.”


“As a professional I can tell you that Elmer Fudd is a great funeral voice.
Also, I’ve been practicing my Roy Scheider and could possibly debut it for you fine folks.
‘This was not a boating accident!’. What do you think?”


“Actually it was a boating accident.”



“Oh.”


“Yeah.”



“Well, what day is your gravesend?”


“December 5th.”



“Oh, I’m doing a commercial for industrial mayonnaise that day. Find another funeral impersonator.”