Contributing sources: The internet

much TV as you think you watch, Uncle Mitch watches more. 
With beer in hand at all times.  He’s a mythological figure
and a great source of fun and special times.  At any given
time, his blood alcohol level is somewhere around the ratings for
American Idol.  But that doesn’t stop this drunk bitch from
sharing his insights on the week’s TV news.

TLC Sues Jon Gosselin

TLC is bringing suit against Jon Gosselin for breach of contract and failing to meet his obligations as an employee of the network.

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Since when is being a douchebag actionable?

WWE’s Shane McMahon Resigns From Family Business

Shane McMahon, son of WWE honcho Vince McMahon and an occasional wrestler, is resigning to pursue other opportunities.

Uncle Mitch’s Take: I heard he wanted to get into something that wasn’t quite so fake, like reality TV or something.

Fox Reality Channel Closing Up Shop

Fox Networks Group revealed that the four-year-old channel will cease operations next March 31st.

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Thank God I DVRed those Temptation Island reruns…

Michael Jackson’s Mom Says Kids Won’t Be In Reality Show

Katherine Jackson, who has become the guardian of the late entertainer’s three
children, Paris, Prince and Blanket, denied a magazine’s report that
the children will appear in a reality show.

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Yeah, ’cause Joe is too busy planning out the music biz whoring out phase of their careers first.

Billy Mays’ Family Refutes Cocaine Finding

Late TV Pitchman’s widow says an independent medical examiner she
hired found that cocaine did not contribute to her husband’s sudden
death this past summer and that he died of natural causes.

Uncle Mitch’s Take: They’re selling, but I ain’t buying.

Tina Fey Couldn’t “Give It Away”

During an appearance on The Late Show With David Letterman, the 30 Rock star confirmed an US Weekly story that she was a virgin until the age of 24, saying that she “couldn’t give it away.”

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Hey, I’d have been more than happy to have represented you in those negotiations.

TLC Previously Turned Down Reality Pitch From Balloon Boy’s Family

The family of Falcon Heene, the boy who captured the world’s attention yesterday for being mistakenly thought to be trapped in a weather balloon that went rogue over Colorado, had previously pitched a reality show idea to TLC, who passed.

Uncle Mitch’s Take: It ain’t a total loss, I hear they’ve already got meeting set up for their next idea: So You Think You Can Vomit.