Am I the only one who hears the name of Ian Somerhalder’s new movie, Cradlewood, and thinks it sounds like a term used on the NAMBLA chat board?

boylvr: I saw the most adorable toddler today.

JeffreyJonesFan: Did it give you cradlewood?

No? Just me?

Anyway, Somerhalder, who is now starring on The Vampire Diaries (which sounds like it should be inviting the Summit/Stephenie Meyers lawsuit hammer any moment), has signed on to star in Cradlewood. The Hollywood Reporter tells me this is the story of the ‘gothic romantic fairy tale':

The movie centers on an Australian woman living in Boston with the
heir (Somerhalder) to an incredible fortune whose family history is
swirled in a legend that tells of a pact made with a demon which
ensures that whenever a boy is born into the family, the father is
killed.



The heir suspects his girlfriend is pregnant, and after strange
events occur, he comes to believe he will die if he continues to
fall in love.


The Australian woman is being played by Emma Lung. Lung. Emma Lung. How is this a name? How did that family name get started? Many last names retain vestiges of the trades the families once plied; if your last name is Carpenter, you probably had a wood guy in your genetics. But Lung? Was her family in the transporting oxygen from the atmosphere into the bloodstream business back in the Middle Ages?

I have nothing else to say, having made the two jokes I came here to make.