I don’t think Peter Chernin is a dipshit. But that belief does get tested when it’s announced that he’s producing a movie that is being touted as a 300-style version of the story of Moses.
The movie is being written by Adam Cooper and Bill Collage, who have a lot of range – they just wrote a 300-style version of Moby Dick for Timur Bekmambetov. Rumor is that they’re pitching a 300-style version of They Call Me Mr. Tibbs around town right now.
This Moses movie would tell the entire story of the great prophet’s life, from being found as a baby to freeing the enslaved Hebrews to wandering in the desert for 40 years (this seems like such an excessive amount of time to be wandering. It’s what happens when you’re too proud to stop and ask for directions*). I can’t wait to see the slomo changing of a staff into a serpent and the eleven minute unparting of the Red Sea, in slow motion, set to the sounds of Nine Inch Nails.
Maybe Chernin has lost it after all. He’s also producing that adaptation of The Deep Blue Goodbye, which is going to star manling Leonardo DiCaprio as a forty year old beefy tough guy. Jesus, Chernin.
* alternate, offensive joke: this may seem like an excessive amount of time for the Jews to wander the desert, but they heard someone dropped a quarter.
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