The penis wagging competition between Marvel and DC continues, as it was just announced today that Guy Ritchie is directing a live-action Lobo film.

If you’re unfamiliar with the DC character, he’s a wisecracking 7-foot tall blue mercenary who runs around space hunting down alien criminals. He’s fought with Superman, Aquaman, and even Santa Claus in the past. He also once lost to Wolverine during a DC/Marvel Crossover- premonition?

The script was written by Don Payne (Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and My Super Ex-Girlfriend) and the film is being produced by Akiva Goldsman and Andrew Rona.
In the film Lobo will land on Earth in his crazy space motorcycle to find four fugitives who are causing a ruckus. In order to stop the evil aliens, Lobo teams up with a small town teenaged girl.

Wait, what? That’s horrible. Is she supposed to be the character who portrays us, the one who has to experience all of Lobo’s eccentricities for the first time and explain them for the slow members of the audience? And does she find out in the end that he’s not a very bad guy, after all? That he really cares? I just puked out of my nose a bit.

The film is going to be rated PG-13, which might make some fans balk but this is Lobo, after all. There’s a reason he says “Fraggin'” all the time, he’s a PG-13 character.

I love Lock, Stock and Snatch too much for me to completely jump off the Ritchie Wagon, but his last few films don’t instill confidence, and neither does the trailer for Sherlock Holmes, which hits on Christmas. But it’s hard not to be excited about a Lobo film.

Production begins on Lobo early next year.

Via Variety