We’re so jaded about remakes at this point that someone will say something like ‘Oh we’re remaking Enter the Dragon,’ and we’ll all go, ‘Oh okay, it’s the guy who exec produced The Shield so it could be decent enough.’ That’s just so funny, because what is there to remake from Enter the Dragon? The movie isn’t some classic in terms of plot and character. It’s the great Bruce Lee film, and Bruce Lee is what makes Enter the Dragon Enter the Dragon.

So who’s the new Bruce Lee? Beats me. All I know is that the producers are looking to cast an ‘American’ in the lead role, which probably means a white guy. Or, if we’re getting really edgy, a black guy. But we do know who the new Bruce Lee will be fighting: according to Latino Review it’s Korean pop star Rain. The singer/actor is starring in the upcoming Ninja Assassin, and word is that he’s good in the film (it played at Comic Con but I missed it due to Peter Jackson opting to show journalists videos of his model airplanes. This is not a metaphor, an innuendo or a joke. What I heard from the screening is that Rain is good and that the film’s opening 15-20 minutes are incredible but never topped).

Rain will be playing an evil Shaolin monk who is pursued by our (probably white) hero through a series of gritty underground fight clubs. Sure, he’s Korean, but he’ll be a Shaolin monk anyway.

The movie will be called Awaken the Dragon. I can’t wait to see what Mark Wahlberg can do with the lead role!