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STUDIO: Smirk
MSRP: $17.87
RATED: X
RUNNING TIME: 81 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Still gallery


The Pitch
 
Old rich white guy sends town into amorality just because he can.

The Humans
 
Starring Ole Soltoft, Karl Seger, Preben Mahrt and Lone Helmer
Written and directed by Werner Hedman


Sorry mature fans, these fine foxes stay clothed.


The Nutshell
  
When the richest man in the most moral town in Denmark dies, he stipulates that the town, which due to his generosity does not pay taxes, would get his fortune on the condition that an out of wedlock child is born in the next sign of the Taurus. Problem is: no one of childbearing age knows anything about sex, so the girls and guys take lessons from the town whore and her boyfriend. Really it’s a coming of age story, without all that bullshit love thrown in.

The Lowdown
 
I have to hand it to the Danes, they are not above letting things like fucking get in the way of plot and character. Sometimes, they almost fool you into thinking you’re watching an actual movie. And though it doesn’t strike the plot/sex balance that ‘In the Sign of the Virgin’ had, ‘Taurus’ perhaps works slightly better as an actual movie. Unfortunately, if we’re watching this, we’re not looking for an actual movie with plots and motivations (though those things are nice). As a porno movie, it’s average. It’s sure as hell a lot funnier than most porno movies. Intentionally funny, that is.
  


“Pearl necklace? But I’m already wearing one, silly!”


Like all great movies, ‘In the Sign of the Taurus’ has a message. I am almost certain that message is sex is awesome. Beyond that, a deeper meaning perhaps, is the message of morality and how a self-appointed few cannot be the standard bearers of decency, especially when they themselves are not decent. Sure, it’s shoehorned in during an awkward striptease/monologue that is so very European, but I applaud the effort. They are at least attempting subtext, which is something I can appreciate when the product itself is, by its nature, only skin deep.
   
The acting is a cut above your standard titty flick. Fans of the ‘In the Sign of…’ films (which is a group comprised of myself) will recognize Ole Soltoft as the charismatic doctor. Though he never engages in any on screen sex himself, he is clearly in a different movie than everyone else. He’s the straight man (ba dum) to this house of clowns.
 
It’s actually odd, seeing a recognizable male face in a porn movie; we’re conditioned nowadays to treat the guys (save for like Tommy Gunn or Peter North) as cocks there to fill holes. And to recognize the face and antics of a guy who isn’t even fucking? Very odd. But Soltoft has a charm and a manner about him that’s irresistible. He’s fun, like a deranged, Danish Chaplin almost.
  


“Hey, don’t blame me, it’s your cheap ass friends that couldn’t fork the dough over for a younger one. Now, let me show you this trick that Lincoln absolutely adored…”


Oh yeah, the sex. The best part is that although the plot is ridiculous, the Danish try their best to incorporate the sex into the story; in this case, a town’s awakening to sexual desire. Ebert said that a full on sex scene would never work because the narrative flow is stopped dead in its tracks. For the most part, he’s right and ‘Taurus’ does suffer a stop in the plot, but they get an a for effort. It’s not random fucking, they’re essentially character moments. Add the artistic spin many of them have and they are thoroughly enjoyable. The big sex hoedown, for instance, involves frantic, repressed mothers searching for their girls and we cross between the moms and the daughters going at it. It’s that little extra thought, the putting of ‘movie’ into ‘porno movie’ that makes these Danish Tegn films enjoyable, even if they aren’t actually ‘good’.


Betsy: tongue explorer extraordinaire

 
The girls are good looking, nubile and best of all, willing to go the distance. There’s very few things more erotic than a beautiful, naked girl who is thrilled to be having sex. So what if they have a ton of bush (they even make light of this particular 70s trope in an over the top scene featuring a barber that looks just like some Spiderman villain).
  
If you are in need to get your rocks off but also want a little humor as you’re jerking it, I’d definitely suggest ‘In the Sign of the Taurus’, or indeed any of the films in the series. They’re not high art, nor are they low porn, they strike a chord right in the middle and remind you that just because a movie is there for your carnal enjoyment doesn’t mean it has to be entirely stupid and terrible.

The Package
   
Same as always, the only special feature is the still gallery featuring funny, embarrassing but mostly sexy, sexy photos. The transfer is pretty and the sound is used to great comedic effort.



5.2 out of 10