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RUNNING TIME: 89 minutes
• Slide show reel
A Danish film that’s a thousand times cooler than ‘Hamlet’.
Starring Ben Warburg, Ole Soltoft, Lone Helmer, Benny Hansen and many, many, many young, nubile foreign girls
Written and directed by Finn Karlsson
The planet Venus is about to make its closest pass to earth in almost two hundred years above a girl’s boarding/juvey center, and it’s bringing some sexy mojo with it. The school’s board of directors hope to stop this raging hormonal flux by adding a suppressor to the drinking water. At the same time, a chemist creates a powder that increases sexual desires and wouldn’t you know, the two jars get mixed up and hilarity ensues. And sex. Oh my god, does sex ensue.
In the Sign of the Virgin, one of a series of old 1970s erotica films from Denmark, has one of the best opening scenes I’ve ever seen in any movie in all my years: two girls going at it. If you were doing something beforehand, I’m pretty sure you aren’t anymore. It sets the explicitness of the sex quite well, but don’t think this is just some low budget, San Fernando Valley run-of-the-mill porn you’re getting yourself into. No, no, no, this is European porn, so there are two things you can rely on: one, lots of bush and two, ‘plot’ or some bullshit like that. Oh, and comedy. It’s a bizarre mix that actually works well together. The comedy is cute, the sex is awesome and both know exactly when they’re about to wear out their welcome and let the other take over.
I’ve never reviewed a porn before, sorry, ‘erotica’. Much like with a comedy or horror (do we laugh? are we scared?), I imagine one first has to ask: does it accomplish the, you know, erotic part? Yes, yes it does. The thing about it is, you’ve seen these sex scenes hundreds of times by now, but what makes them special here is, frankly, 16mm. I don’t know about you, but I am used to shitty digital video. Seeing a porn with not only production values, but the desire to be an actual movie, is both charming and refreshing.
The plot in most porn movies is perfunctory, like that girl you wake up next to and go ‘damn, I need to get her out of here as quick as possible before someone sees.’ Again, In the Sign of the Virgin surprises by having non-sex scenes that, while silly, didn’t have me going ‘can we please get to more fucking already?’ The reasons for this are many: the script is delightful at times, it’s decently plotted, though it certainly tries for comedy when the actors are not up for it. Unlike many people in porn, we have no problem with the characters when they have their clothes on. I think foreign porn is great because it’s a bit hard to tell a bad actor from a good one. And lastly, how do you not love a movie whose hook is a sexual enhancement powder? That’s waaaay more original than ‘Pirates’, let me tell you.
“I’m just playing, they’re around the corner. Say hi to my sister.”
The best thing about the film is that everyone is real. The girls are young, unaltered, good looking and unique. You might not know their names, but you recognize each one from the others. No platinum blonde, no huge tits, no angry pillow-talk; I dare say these people thoroughly enjoyed the experience. And if they didn’t, well, then they are better actors than I give them credit for. Despite the numbers, it’s the kind of sex you actually have. You can get into it. It’s passionate and wild and more than just two (or many more) people going through the basic motions of fucking. That degree of connection, and the decision to not show every single minute of sex, keeps the film afloat, fresh and exciting.
With girl on girl, catfights, masturbation, one on ones and all ending in a ridiculously over the top, underwater orgy, In the Sign of the Virgin has a little something for everyone (well, except gay men). It’s a film you can watch as a movie, or simply skip ahead to a particular scene and still have an extremely good time. Like a comedy making you laugh, or a horror film making you scream, this film succeeds in turning you on. But it actually has a little more going for it, too.
There is a slide show feature that’s sort of the greatest hits of the movie, some SFW, most not. Pretty special, huh?