Sylvester Stallone didn’t invite me to any set visit for The Expendables, probably because I have loved him since I was five and wrote my very first fan mail to him back in the late 70’s and have supported everything he’s done over the course of his entire career [including fucking Avenging Angelo]. Also, I run a website that has been around since before many current movie webmasters had pubic hair that is well-written, original, and always kind towards his work.

I’m not bitter.

UGO’s Rene Rosa was able to be there and gleaned from the filmmakers that there will be a Rambo V (he doesn’t eat mice, the V is a 5) and that it will not feature the extreme gore that made the fourth movie 50% better than your mother’s love. If you took the gore out of the last Rambo movie (my tender 3 page DVD review) you’d be watching the cinematic representation of sorrow.

We do not need John Rambo to excite us with his heroics. We do not need John Rambo to teach us a little about ourselves. We need John Rambo to take an ethnic group and make a lot of them leave the world in a really wet manner.

Is that too much to ask?