You know who should be the villain in Spider-Man 4? All the ding dongs who claim to be Sam Raimi fans who didn’t go to see Drag Me To Hell. All the dipshnits who say Evil Dead 2 is their favorite movie ever but who chose to see Up or The Hangover in theaters instead.

But that won’t be the case, if only because the Spider-Man films are about escapism, and who wants to be reminded that such dreadful excuses for fans exist? No, the new villain in Spider-Man 4 will come right from the comics… but who will he be?

The New York Post talked to producer Todd Black, and he cleared up some things before immediately muddying up others. Black said that Kirsten Dunst will definitely be back; I’m not really sure why there’s been this ‘will she/won’t she’ thing going on in the media except for the fact that the fanboys just do not like Dunst.

But when it comes to villains things get obfuscated. Black apparently denied that Morbius will be the villain (although the Post sadly doesn’t include the actual quote, so we can’t know if this was one of those serious denials or one of those denials that are actually fucking with our heads), but he did say that the new villain would be very involved in New York. Huh?

Here’s the quote:

“We’re just coming up with who the villain’s going to be now. We’ll be shooting in New York again. Trust me, people will appreciate who we pick, because it’ll be a big part of New York.”

What’s interesting is that a look at Spider-Man’s rogues gallery gives almost no clues as to who the heck Black could be talking about. None of Spider-Man’s villains really tie into New York all that closely. The most New Yorkian of all Spidey villains are probably crime boss Hammerhead and the utterly ridiculous Hypno Hustler; you could argue that The Lizard, scuttling around in the sewers, might fit the bill, or that Kraven the Hunter, who would be chasing Spidey in the ol’ Urban Jungle. But even those two (who have been heavily rumored for some time) are ill-fitting with that quote.

So I guess we’re going to have to either assume the quote is misleading in some way or that Rudy Giuliani is the new Spider-Man 4 villain.