What

follows is a scattershot bit of staff and reader submitted photos that

showcase the lunacy that exists in the world around us. Submit images HERE, and comment on the thread HERE. Also, please post links on your Facebook, Twitter, or Digg accounts if you want to help keep us swaddled in sweetness.

ASSORTED DUMB SHIT


1. Racist Food Shop.


Photo by Andrea Rothe.


“I’m in the mood for something different tonight. Something precocious yet nuanced with a bouquet that will fill the neighbors with mad jealousy!”


“Look no further. Let’s barbeque some Yellow Name!”



2. Hit the Prawn Shop.


Photo by Andrea Rothe.


Fine Print: Because you can’t trust goddamned shrimps.

3. What happens when they sell it?


Photo by Andrea Rothe.


“I am here for the snack!”


“It sold, try our competitor down street, Treat!”



4. This is what we’ve become?


Photo by Andrew Del Rosario.


Possibilities:

  • There’s a new Don Post mask I don’t know about.
  • The dog is Xerxes reincarnated and I’M THE IDIOT.
  • Merrill Shoes’ new ‘Fuck Life’ marketing campaign has commenced.
  • John Madden’s been hitting the treadmill. And the pound.
  • Her stirrup pants were in the shop.
  • Rip Torn wants his Beastmaster nose back.
  • The dog’s lower third is in the shop.




5. The good news is that your father loves you. The bad news is that your father flunked Pre-K.


Photo by Ben Crawford.



Seriously?

Do they know how many pottery proofreaders are out of work in this economy?



6. Also: Bees taste better than lobster.


Photo by Chris Crespo.


This does nothing to disprove the recent study that revealed that basketball fanatics ranked behind the fans of underwater darts and the poop slalom in the Fandom Intelligence Survey of 2008.

7. DEATH COMMODE, coming soon from New World Pictures!


Photo by Chris Crespo.

You know I’m most fearful for? Illiterate pissers.

Actually, scratch that.


8. Why isn’t Octomom dead yet? I need a memorial for my Vespa.


Photo by Dan Clark.

“Missy, I’m sorry to tell you that your family was burned alive in an orphanage fire.”

“Shit!”

“As part of our services, we offer funereal ceremonies, burial options, and the ability to generate really nice memorials for your vehicle.”

“That’s pretty neat and all, but my automotive tribute real estate is taken care of already.”

9. “My Other Car is a Condiment.”


Photo by Dan Wojciak.


Apparently IMGREED, $ISALL, NJOYPOOR. and OWNAGE were taken.

10. Gaelic’s Anatomy.


Photo by Dan Wojciak.


First of all, why advertise being Irish?
Second of all, if you’re a doctor, maybe you need a not Honda.
Third of all, why advertise being Irish?




11. TH3 W3RST.


Photo by Dan Wojciak.


Attention CHUD.com readers in Michigan… find this car. Burn this car. A free Prozac Nation DVD is yours if you do.

12. “How do I tell my husband that the doctor said I have Ovary Gigantism?”


Photo by Evan Dickson.

I do not know to how to survive any more.


13. Emilio Estevez’s new car, DISCOVERED!


Photo by Evan Dickson.


This replaces the ’92 Hyundai Excel with the WHIZDUM plates.

14. The Estelle Getty’sburg Address.


Photo by Jason Becker.


I think this would have been more succinct:

“To Whom it May Concern,

I am robbing the shit out of this place.

Sincerely,

The Thief”

15. “I’ll Take a Marlboro and a Pack of Beagles.”


Photo by Jason Griese.


“Our business plan is really coming together, Daniel.”


“Bad news, the outlet mall just opened up a Knives and Syrup shop.”



“FUCK! I just got the logo embroidered on my hat. What about our Plan B?”


“Sweet Sausage and Hairspray? Guess you haven’t seen the kiosk at the new shopping center.”



“Holy Water & Apricots went under and there’s not room in this town for another Refurbished Teeth and Measuring Spoons shop. What do we do?”


“I got this.”




By the way:


“Raisins are grandpa grapes!”




Message Board Thread.