MSRP: $19.98
RUNNING TIME: 299 minutes


The Pitch

Scarjo used to do indie films. Watch three of them now.

The Humans

Scarlett Johansson, Helen Hunt, Colin Firth, Tom Wilkinson, Cillian Murphy, Mae Whitman, Tony Goldwyn and Nastassja Kinski

The Nutshell

An American Rhapsody – Scarjo plays Suzette. Suzette is a teenage girl abandoned as an infant in commie ran Hungary. As a teenager, her family secures a deal to bring their daughter to America. Suzette has to reconcile her two homes and the changes in her life.

A Good Woman – Scarjo has to keep Victorian Era cougar Helen Hunt away from her rich husband. Tom Wilkinson guest stars as Victorian Era Tom Wilkinson.

Girl with a Pearl Earring – Scarjo plays Griet. Griet grows fascinated with the painter Vermeer. She has been sent to his house as a maid, since her father can’t work anymore. Desperately trying to find a balance between her burgeoning sexuality and familial obligation, a young woman is thrust into adulthood.

The Lowdown

Scarlett Johansson has been working in film since 1998. The three films presented in today’s Scarlett Johansson Collection show off three period dramas she made for LionsGate and its purchased companies. The first film was An American Rhapsody. The film is an uneven attempt to take a look at a young foreigner trying to maker her way in America. Scarjo plays to her weaknesses, as she spends the last half of the film as a mumbly mouth waif wandering in out of the action.

Girl with a Pearl Earring is up next. The film is where Scarjo started to attract some Award attention. Still, any accolade or merit eludes her. Colin Firth stars as the painter Vermeer, as he works with his supportive maid Griet. Peter Webber directs this literary adaptation as nothing short of art porn. The intellectual Clitterati will get their jollies off, while watching Colin Firth thrash around, as he comes to terms with his obsession with his young maid.

A Good Woman is the weak link in the collection. It’s an Oscar Wilde adaptation which already makes it gayer than half of America can stand to watch. Scarjo plays the recently married Meg. While on vacation in Italy, Meg meets Mrs. Erylenne. Erylenne is a gold digger that’s looking for a way to gold dig Meg’s rich husband.

If you ever wanted to see Helen Hunt and Scarjo match wits, then this film is for you. If you happen to exist, I’ve got a couple of marketing friends that might want to sell you Sham-Wows, Mood Rings and other mindless shit. The film’s dry as fuck and Tom Wilkinson shows up to sprinkle credibility dust on the proceedings. People laugh and tell scathing 1930s jokes about the Depression and shit. There’s no reason to watch this film.

arrives on DVD with a wonderful transfer. There’s no print damage and
no visible digital noise on the print. The audio quality is matched by three average Dolby Digital 5.1 tracks. There’s no expressive soundstage to be heard for any of the films. What you get is an adequate experience for the three period dramas. Nothing to rock the windows or shatter your eardrums. So, have at it.

When Dr. Jonathan Crane comes knocking, run. Whatever you do, just run.

The Package

supplemental material consists of two commentary tracks for An American Rhapsody and A Good Woman. There’s also a brief featurette about the construction of a scene for Girl with a Pearl Earring. The lack of substantial material is duly noted, but the commentaries are decent one-time listens.

5.0 out of 10