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STUDIO:
Smirk
MSRP: $21.95
RATED: XXX
RUNNING TIME: 90 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:

Nothing







The Pitch

Secret agent chases tail and a loaf of bread.

The Humans

Ole Soltoft, Karl Stegger, Judy Gringer, Anna Bergman, Paul Bundgaard, Kate Mundt and Gina Janssen

The Nutshell

Agent 69 Jensen is having to fight the evil Scorpion. The Scorpion rips the clothes off women when he’s angry. He also is on the hunt for some microfilm hidden in a loaf of breath. The two fight each other, while various women try to get them into carnal entrapments. There’s a scene with some assplay and a couple of pooltable sex scenes. Naturally, it’s the greatest Danish film of the last thirty years.




The Lowdown

The
Danes are at it again. This time they’re riffing on the spy genre with even more hardcore sex. What the hell is it about the Danish and their love to squeeze hairy snatch into every five minutes of their films? The film sports some familiar faces if you’re well-kept on Danish porn. Otherwise, you might be a little lost.





Agent 69 Jensen spends the majority of the film bumbling around and trying to stay on top of the Scorpion. The Scorpion spends most of the film sexually assaulting women and cursing Agent 69’s name. Various women of no regard show up to flaunt their tits or offer up their love holes to the film’s barely there plot. The set pieces are more thoughtfully put together in this outing. Sets actually looks like they were built for more than a coin found in the street.






The
sex is still awkward, as you have the most amateur of actors fumbling
about the others’ genitals. You get some decent outdoor action
at the start of the film, but it seems like they weren’t quite aware of
the film’s true content. Decent fuckery is afoot, as the filmmakers
have become more imaginative in their setups. Plus, you get some oral
and other variations outside of the usual in, then out, in, then out,
hold for a moment and then back in.





The
movie
is a bizarre treat for those of us that are used to airbrushed porn.
The film is framed in a nice 1.78:1 that displays like a dream on
modern LCD televisions. The transfer is almost crystal clear with the
appropriate amount of film grain onscreen. I wonder who bothered to save this film. Out of all the lost cinematic gems, this film survives rather intact. I weep for F.W. Murnau.



Glenn Shadix even gets to fuck in a Danish blue film.



The Package


There are no special features.


5.0 out of 10