Finally! A gritty take on Masters of the Universe! I’ve always felt that characters like Stink-Or and Ram-Man and Man-E-Faces and Buzz-Off the bee man and Fisto weren’t getting taken seriously enough by society. Don’t they understand that the battle between a mostly naked blonde man and a mostly naked blue man with a skull head is exactly what our modern myth is about? These stories mean something!

Just kidding. The idea of a gritty He-Man is, of course, asinine. But it’s happening anyway. Thanks, Dark Knight! The current version of Masters of the Universe originated with hacktastic writer Justin Marks (his only produced feature credit is Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li), and has now been taken over by a guy named Evan Daughtrey who has no credits at all.

Here’s the pitch:

Warners sees the big-screen version as a gritty fantasy and
reimagines Adam as a soldier who sets off to find his destiny,
happening upon the magical world of Eternia. There, Skeletor has
raised a technological army and is bent on eradicating magic.

Daughtrey, there’s a chance you might read this site, or at least have a Google alert for your name. If so, my advice: run away. Unless your next script is Children of Men good, every internet site is going to hang Masters of the Universe around your neck for your whole career. Hey, maybe you’ll cry yourself to sleep on a bed made of cash, but I’m just letting you know. We’ll hold this one against you.