If you’re like me you look at Little Shop of Horrors and you say to yourself, ‘What’s with all this gay-ass singing? And why are they taking the obviously terrifying idea of a talking plant that eats people so lightly? I spend all day in terror of houseplants suddenly speaking up, and I feel marginalized by this comedic take on the material.’ then you’re in luck, since someone is going to do a ‘dark’ remake of the original Roger Corman movie.
Yes, someone is retooling Roger Corman’s blatantly comedic movie into a serious horror film. It makes you just want to put your head in your hands and weep for humanity. The thing is that Little Shop isn’t even a serious movie with a coating of comedy, it’s a pretty silly movie through and through, and while the comedy is black as night, it’s essentially a goofy premise. Who looks at this and says ‘I really need this shit to be darker! It needs to be more gut wrenching!’? Wasn’t The Ruins enough for you? Maybe you could just record voice over for the vine in that movie (in the book it does talk).
The guy behind this all is Declan O’Brien, director of the upcoming Wrong Turn 3*, who – for the record – is also the director of the Eric Roberts SciFi Channel movie Cyclops. Sigh. Maybe next he’ll finally give us a dark, serious M*A*S*H in the style of Saving Private Ryan. Or the gory, brooding version of Heathers we really deserve.
* I’d like to take this moment to pimp Wrong Turn 2, a movie that is possibly ignored because it’s a direct to DVD sequel to a not that great film, but it’s actually pretty amazing. Check it out.