I stand before you an old man.

The trailer for the new Robert Rodriguez movie, Shorts, has convinced me of this. And I’m kind of okay with that. I watched the trailer all the way through and cannot for the life of me decide if this is a movie that looks good or looks crap, and that’s simply because I am in no way the target audience for the trailer. It’s like if a civilization of gaseous entities that see entirely in X-Ray were to make a movie trailer and ‘show’ it to me. I’d be just as baffled.

I suspect that the manic energy, overuse of CGI effects and constant screaming of the trailer will appeal to 7 year olds, which is who Rodriguez is going for. I’m a little bit afraid of the people 20 to 30 years older than that target demo who will take a shine to this, and not just while on drugs. They will tell me that I’ve lost my inner child or something, as if growing up is a bad thing. Step away from the DVD of Hook, guys.

Anyway, here’s the trailer, presented in such low quality it looks like it was taped on that VHS tape you kept next to the TV in 1987 just so you could quickly pop it in and tape cool commercials or something, and that you would endlessly tape over.