I’ll admit that’s not a seaworthy pun. Secretly I love it.

I have to admit that I am a big fan of a lot of things. If cornered I’d say that yes, Morgan Freeman’s voice is a textured, oaky bit of magic. If cornered. Only then.

Facebook, of which I am also a fan, can go fuck itself in the shower with all this ‘become a fan’ nonsense. It was acceptable when it was intermittent and available on a separate little sidebar. Every once in a while it’d pull some nugget from my tastes and actually pique my interest. Then again, it was way wide of the mark when it asked me if I wanted to be a fan of the Georgia Bulldogs. I have no loyalty to any college team or any college, but I have suffered watching Bulldog fans like no other, which leaves me feeling that there are some hiccups in the Facebook Big Brother search tactics.

But then they really fucked up by adding the ‘become a fan’ to the ‘people you may know’ section. I’ve actually found dozens of legitmate folks through that feature, people I’d had not thought of searching for or ones that joined Facebook post my last combthrough.

These fan things are dumb, insulting at times, and cheapen the experience. Who gives a doves pussyhole if someone is a fan of milk mustaches? Are we ready to be judged as humans dependent on whether or not our passion for Uriah Heep is enough to warrant an extra mouse click?

Now I just go to that section and brush my teeth since it’s much easier when my jaw is on the floor.

People, some of them theoretically friends of mine, FUCKING CLICK ON THESE! If you’re really a fan of sarcasm… you’d write a blog about this nonsense instead of taking the easy road and clicking.

That’s why I’m me and so fucking bitching.

To become a fan of bitching, click here.