.Matthew McConaughy is Dirk Pitt.

The first time I heard those words were oddly comforting, as I’d bought my dad a Clive Cussler book every year for the duration of the 80’s and had gotten tired of the character and his adventure franchise getting the shaft from Hollywood.

I mean, what is more popcorn munchingly Hollywood ready as the Dirk Pitt books? They’re fast, they’re fun, and they’re not terribly taxing on the brain pan. They also feature salty toughs and fast women, stuff in short supply in recent flicks that focus more on wafer thin men and even more acutely svelte ladies.

I’ve not seen Sahara yet, and the rather drab trailers have done little to dampen my excitement of seeing Matt, Penelope Cruz, and Steve Zahn battle the desert on their quest for treasure and good, clean fun. The fact that the film is directed by a man with the hilariously cinematic name Breck Eisner only makes it more appealing.

This ought to be fun, so come see it with us. If you live in Atlanta, Charlotte, or Raleigh, that is.

Here’s how to get a pass mailed to you. It’s a simple process, really.

Grab a SASE and shove it in the mail, making sure to specify which city you’d prefer to see the film in (from the three choices above, smart ass. I ain’t sending you a pass for the Regal Bangladesh 18 screening). Also, pop something fun in the envelope with it. I’ve gotten stamps, coupons, business cards, golf passes, and a nude photo in previous envelopes, but just pop something in there that doesn’t explode and cause a mess. In fact, if you wanted to order a CHUD/RON shirt, this would be the perfect time to send your order in. Either way, send the SASE to:

4915 Camberbridge Dr.
Alpharetta, GA 30022

…and try to do it by Thursday of this week or so as the mail service hates being efficient.