I’m not some kind of GI Joe purist; I collected the toys as a boy, but I recognize that the cartoon is terrible and that the whole thing is campy at best. I appreciate the seemingly MegaForce meets Flash Gordon tone the upcoming Stephen Sommers film version has. But the new design of Cobra Commander, leaked in a toy image that HissTank got, has me waving my finger in disapproval.
See, the original Cobra Commander design is elegant in its simplicity. I really dig the half-Nazi, half-penis head helmet and the faceless chrome visage. I liked that he wore a smart little Cobra uniform. It just worked, a rarity among a series of toys that seemed to aspire to instantaneous kitsch at best (and gay double entendres at worst. Snow Job? Seriously?). But the new movie design is ugly, busy and kind of stupid. I also can’t figure out why the helmet on the figure is either pink or see-through. Two thumbs and one dick head helmet way down on this one.
I do, however, like that he comes with an actual cobra and a ridonkulous gun. Maybe he shoots the cobra from the gun. I’d see the movie three times in theaters if that’s the case.
Click here to see more images of the toy and the character card.
Behind every great book adaptation is a forgettable first try. — By Ryan Covey