You’re a fan of Rescue Me. You’re currently in the middle of a 573-day wait until the first new
episode of Season 5 premieres.  You’re therefore also currently in the middle of planning a hit on the
Writers Guild for striking last year and making you wait that long.  Nothing fancy, a simple
fertilizer bomb or perhaps a Tomahawk strike…if you know the right people.  You’ve exhausted your DVD
collection of the show and been to every streaming site in existence to
make sure you didn’t miss any episodes, perhaps while on that trip to the
in-laws or on some vacation you only took to keep the other half happy.  But what do they know?  They (i.e. she) would rather watch The Real HousewivesOC, NY or Atlanta…it doesn’t matter, they all suck.  If you didn’t love her so much (i.e. were whipped worse than Kunta), you’d have left her long ago simply for that reason.  573 goddamned days since the last episode…and meanwhile, there’s enough estrogen on those three shows to choke an aircraft carrier crew. 

If some act of God occurs and there’s any further delay before you get your new helping of Rescue Me, you may snap and the authorities will find her Housewives-loving ass chopped up in the freezer next to the ribeyes.  You haven’t gotten shit in 573 days, 13,752 hours, 825,120 minutes, 49,507,200 seconds.  Halley’s Comet has come and gone twice since there’s been a new episode of Rescue Me.  Screw the webisodes.  You want the new season and you want it yesterday.  A year before yesterday, actually.

Well, there’s some good news, some sorta better news, some probably rage-inducing news and some regardless of that news to be on the lookout for news.  The good news: The show is still set to premiere on April 7th.  The sorta better news: We can offer you three short promo clips to whet the appetite, courtesy of F/X.  They’re below.  The probably rage-inducing news: Nick is hip deep in the new season ahead of all of you, because that’s how he rolls.  The regardless of that news to be on the lookout for news: He will have a preview of said upcoming season on Friday.

Thanks to Jeremy and Eileen for getting said clips ready.