There are two kinds of people in this world: People who think the idea of an elderly robot who walks with a cane in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is ridiculous and ruins the movie for them and cool people.

Look, this is a Michael Bay blow-em-up movie about GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS based on a DUMB CARTOON. I put that stuff in all caps so that you can be fully aware how embarrassing it is that you take it seriously. Did you get annoyed by John Turturro being peed on in the first Transformers? That was probably the best scene in the whole movie!

It’s the fanboy curse: wanting your childish interests to be taken oh so seriously. And the fact that Bay refuses to completely do that makes people go insane. Personally, I love the idea of a robot with a walking stick. It’s delightful in its cartoonishness. If you’re anthropomorphizing these characters, take it all the way. I hope a future Decepticon has robot herpes, in fact (it’ll look like rust around his mouth).

Anyway, the robot is Jetfire; Topless Robot has snagged the first picture of his toy and then summarily had a ‘Oh Christ, I am taking a Transformers movie way too seriously’ meltdown. Slashfilm has Jetfire’s bio:

Jetfire grew tired or war a long time ago. The reckless ambition of the
Decepticons and the senseless violence of their war sickened him, and
so he left Cybertron to go into hiding. The form he eventually chose on
Earth seemed appropriate for one who wished to remain unseen. He
slumbered in peace for years. Now, awakened by the arrival of the war
on Earth, he decides once again to enter the fight – this time on the
side of the Autobots, and this time to end it for good, whatever the

John Turturro will be voicing Jetfire. The toy is built to join up with Optimus Prime to become a mega giant robot; I imagine we’ll see the same in the movie. I can’t wait.