I wonder how Will Smith would look with a couple feet of hair extensions crawling off his head? Samson might be our chance to find out; Warner Brothers has picked up a pitch for a ‘futuristic retelling’ of the Samson and Delilah story for Francis Lawrence to direct.
This is a seven-figure deal, folks. FOR A FUTURISTIC RETELLING OF THE SAMSON AND DELILAH STORY. Refresher course for the third graders: this is about a strong guy who broke some pillars, killed a bunch of people and jacked up a lion before being betrayed by a chick who weakens him by cutting off his hair. If you think you’re on the wrong side of this failing economy, you are so fucking right. Assuming that you didn’t just con three studios into fighting over this tripe.
Lawrence can use this and his I Am Legend prequel, also in development, to bookend all the shitty scripts in Hollywood’s post-strike output. The only good thing about this story so far is that it led me to this blog.
(EDIT: Thanks to message board member Abbot & Prospero for reminding me of this amazingly horrific Rob Liefeld sketch for Samson as per his proposed Old Testament book. Note that Will Smith is listed as inspiration for the design.)