STUDIO:  Lions Gate
MSRP:  $19.98
RUNNING TIME:  101 Minutes
“Meet the Manns” Featurette
“Angela & Rick” Featurette
“The Browns are Born”
Jennifer Lewis: Unleashed

Tyler Perry’s The Pitch

“Hey Lionsgate?  It’s me – Tyler Perry.”

Tyler Perry’s The Humans

Director:  Tyler Perry
Producer:  Tyler Perry
Writer:  Tyler Perry
Starring:  Tyler Perry (ENOUGH ALREADY!), Angela Bassett, Rick Fox, Margaret Avery, Frankie Faison, Jenifer Lewis, Lance Gross, Sofia Vergara, Lamman Rucker, Tamela Mann, David Mann

Tyler Perry’s The Nutshell

Single mom is struggling to make it with her three kids.  She gets randomly invited to a random will reading of a completely unknown (but recently dead) relative.  She inherits a house, but more importantly – inherits a family.  Awww.

Token White Guy!

Tyler Perry’s The Lowdown

I really don’t have the energy or the inclination to write a worthy “CHUD-esque” review of a Tyler Perry movie so I’ll just cut to the chase:  it’s not good.  It’s not the worst thing out there and in and of itself it’s a harmless enough little film (I assume the rest can be said of his complete oeuvre, but this is the only thing I plan on watching that has his name attached) but it’s completely shallow.  And honestly, the ONLY problem here is Tyler Perry.

As a writer, he creates a bevy of one-note characters who encompass the broadest of generalizations and/or stereotypes.  The drama comes from overused plot devices that might as well have been selected by throwing darts at random pieces of paper.  The resolutions ring hollow and are presented amidst overly-sentimental, sanctimonious bullshit.

As a director, he’s incredibly bland with no real sense of visual style.  His sets and locations are uninspired and clichéd, without a hint of subtlety as to what they’re supposed to represent.  Anybody could have directed this movie.  Hell, I could have directed this movie.  And what good would that do anyone?  I don’t know the first thing about directing a movie.  Oh…

Now, I will say this.  As a producer – the man’s a fucking genius.  That much is obvious.  He should quit the film industry (In Jesus’ name…Amen) and go into marketing.  The man knows how to create a brand.  I’ll definitely give him credit for that.

“Honey you don’t know how long a day it’s been.  First the little bald kid always bending up all my damn spoons, then that other guy breaking my vase.  I just need a nap.”

Now, to go back to my earlier point, I said that the only problem with this movie was Tyler Perry, and that’s true.  And while he is a shitty director, he does know how to cast a movie.  I was honestly surprised at how much I enjoyed the performances.  Well, let me qualify that.  The cast did very well with what they were given.  They can’t help that they were given ass in a basket (actually, I suppose they could – nobody MADE them take the roles, but I digress).  Angela Bassett was fine as always, but everybody else delivered as well.  Well, Jenifer Lewis basically played the same role Jenifer Lewis ALWAYS plays, but other than that I really liked the people.  There was some nice chemistry on screen and when it came time to emote, they were able to do it with some actual feeling.  The cast ended up being the only saving grace in what would have otherwise been a fucking ham-handed travesty.

Speaking of ham-handed travesties – Madea shows up in this as well.  For about 5 minutes.  We find her in the middle of a low-speed pursuit and she ends up getting arrested.  I thought it was incredibly random and didn’t know what purpose it served at all until I saw the poster for Madea Goes to Jail.  Oh Tyler Perry – you sly boots.

Again, though, it’s a harmless little movie.  And I don’t begrudge people liking the guy – he appeals to the mainstream “movie watchers,” people who aren’t all nerdy about film and it’s easy to like his brand of formulaic bullshit if you’re not familiar with the formula.

I originally grabbed this with the intention of making a Wayne Brady joke, but then I lost faith in it – because it wasn’t funny.  But I already grabbed it and didn’t feel like scanning for anything else.  So here you go.  Feel free to write your own caption in the thread.

Tyler Perry’s The Package

The artwork is boring with Bassett and Fox snuggled up in the left and the Browns huddled up in the lower right.  A portrait of Madea dangles from the title treatment.  The layout is fine, the colors are nice, but it’s just bland and lifeless.  Does Tyler Perry design posters too?

Features include a gaggle of Featurettes.  I didn’t watch them.  Sorry.  But, the way I figure it, if you’re in the market for this DVD then you’ve either already closed the window or have already started writing me some hate mail.  So there ya go.

Tyler Perry’s OVERALL:
Tyler Perry out of 10