STUDIO: First Look Pictures
MSRP: $28.98
RUNNING TIME: 107 minutes
Not a damn thing

The Pitch

John Cusack really doesn’t get what made Grosse Pointe Blank work.

The Humans

John Cusack, Hilary Duff, Marisa Tomei, Joan Cusack and Dan Aykroyd

The Nutshell

War equals big business. Taking a liberal dose from the paranoid fantasies of Hollywood’s Leftist elite, we get another look at the terror wonderland that only exists in the deluded fantasies of the extreme points of the political spectrum. This satire directs its aim at the Iraq War and current U.S. foreign policy. Playing the matter a little too simplistic, War, Inc. offers up imagery that wouldn’t feel out of place in an episode of Family Guy. But, they’ve got Hilary Duff looking like a hot piece of ass in it.

Hoth Emo.

The Lowdown

War, Inc. would be a polarizing film if it was worth a damn. What most politically minded creative types tend to forget is that if you have a story to tell, it must have a point. Turaquistan is the main setting for this dull-witted satire. A former U.S. Vice President (Dan Aykroyd) runs the country as a breeding ground for American business interests. Oil is sold to the highest bidder and banner ad laden tanks patrol the streets. Then, there’s the mounting private armies of assassins that weave in and out of this tale. 

Popeye’s Chicken is fucking awesome.

War, Inc. reminds of when bad ideas keep picking up steam. Did the world really need to see another tale about how bad America has fucked up in the Middle East. Most of the population gets that we’re pop culture obsessed fuckwits that don’t give a shit about anyone with a tan complexion. Satire doesn’t really fare too well with the apathetic. It just annoys people and ends up seeing tropes like this getting buried under limited theatrical runs.

John Cusack is slowly morphing into Lewis Black.

John Cusack is above this kind of material. Yeah, I know that the guy starred in Igor and 1408, but Weinstein crimes aren’t at play here. Cusack seems to have three archetypes that he excels at playing. The beat-up loser that lives in past successes. The beaten-up veteran that’s too wise for a world that’s too dumb for his standards. Then, there’s the reluctant father figure that has to come to terms with the man that he was and will become. All three sides of Cusack play into his performance. Especially in the stilted Brand USA scenes with Duff and Tomei.

Keep it in your pants, fellas. She doesn’t show anything off.

War, Inc.  is a movie that lives and dies by John Cusack. The problem with that is Cusack is delivering a weak-limped performance alongside the filler material that passes for the rest of the film. There’s no original criticism to be found here, as the film eventually collapses into third act melodrama. The film is too swift for its own good and it falls apart under the desire to be clever and witty.

The Duff still doesn’t show shit and you’ll have to wait for Tomei tits in The Wrestler.

Cusack ever plans to take his career to the next level, he’s got to side-step shit like this. It’s a vanity project of the stinkiest order that leaves a bad taste in the mouth of people who like the guy. Nobody gives a shit that you think pop music and warfare are bad. No matter how clever your opinion on urban renewal is, I don’t want to see a film about it.

The Package

DVD has a pretty strong transfer with no audio dropout. The special features are non-existent. First Look believes that after viewing this film, nobody wants to spend more time with supplemental material. So, take that as a heads up. Fuck knows that I should have.

2.0 out of 10