There are certain taboos that few filmmakers will breach. Killing kids is one of them. That’s why a good child murder remains one of the moments in any movie that will shock even the most jaded connoisseur of extreme exploitation.
Some of you reading this will believe that kid kills are beyond the pale, but remember – this is just acting and make-up. This list is the best fictional kid kills – you won’t see the Twilight Zone movie on this list. Adjust your outrage-meters accordingly and settle in for ten of the best minor murders ever committed to celluloid.
Who Can Kill a Child? (1976)
Totaled Tot: A line of Spaniards
Kiddie Killer: An American Tourist in Spain
Minor Murder Method: Bullet! Bullet!
The question in this title is everything that this feature is about. What could drive someone so far as to kill an innocent child? Why is it so entertaining to watch?
In the case of Tom (Lewis Flander, in our most serious selection on this list), all it takes is a few days of madness. While vacationing with his pregnant wife Evelyn (Prunella Ransome) they manage to book themselves a trip to an island that’s been overrun with kids, Lord of the Flies-style. They don’t know this at first, and a really tense beginning turns to scenes that would make anyone’s mind crack, watching kids laugh and giggle as they inflict horrible pain and death on the few remaining adult inhabitants… and then begin hunting the couple down.
When the couple is pursued by a pack of the children and holes up in in their hotel, trying to stop the kids from breaking down the door, the little whippersnapper above pops his head in the window and cocks his pistol (the little kid has to use both hands to push the hammer down!), pointing it at Evelyn. Tom sees it about to happen and fires his own gun at the kid, blowing a hole in the youngin’s head and saving his wife.
It’s brutal, but the real kid death is coming later on. Soon, Tom’s wife is gone and he’s all alone. He has completely lost his shit. He’s only trying to escape the island now, but all the residents line up in front of him, not allowing him to leave. So he looks at their cute young faces, full of life, and guns a whole row of them down.
Beware! Children at Play (1989)
Totalled Tot: An entire townfull!
Kiddie Killer: Their own parents!
Minor Murder Weapon: Arrows, axes, pitchforks, blocks of wood, and guns, guns, guns!
This is it. The mother of all kid-killing movies.
The movie itself is absolute garbage, almost unwatchable. The acting is crap, the story needlessly convoluted. It’s from Troma (of course) but is easily one of the worst in their library. It revolves around a gang of kids who are little demon zombie cannibals, killing any people who cross their paths. In our second Lord of the Flies reference today, they scream a similar chant to the whole “Kill the pig!” chant… this one being “Gulp her blood, gobble the flesh!” while they eat their victims.
When the townsfolk find out what’s going on, they decide to take matters into their own hands, and that’s what brings us to the only redeeming part of the whole film (but still not really worth wasting an hour and a half of your life getting to). The sheriff wants to stop them, especially seeing as even though these are actually zombies, they still look just like regular children.
And then this happens.