STUDIO: Warner Brothers
MSRP: $19.98
RATED: Not Rated
RUNNING TIME: 25 minutes
“He’s A Bully, Charlie Brown”
“The Polls Don’t Lie: The Making Of You’re Not Elected, Charlie Brown”


The Pitch

Linus and Chuck teach us the futility of the American Electoral System.

The Humans

Chad Webber, Robin Kohn, Stephen Shea, Hilary Momberger and Todd Barbee

The Nutshell

Charlie Brown has taught me more about life than any other cartoon character. Life sucks, girls just want to shit on you and you’re never going to get past the middle. The Election Special released in 1972 shows off all three tenets with style. Charlie Brown has been nominated to be class president. But, everyone hates him and they want to sabotage his campaign.

Cartoon Network presents Elephant.

The Lowdown

I wasn’t alive when this special was first released in 1972. So, I can’t wax poetically about how a cartoon was a commentary on the Nixon re-election. But, you’d have to be an idiot to miss the sly touches that Schulz put into the show. Everything from Linus’s comments about nothing to the public turning on the eventual winner. This was more than a school election. It was a look into the failings of the human spirit in times of direct competition.

Nobody is ready for Chris Hansen’s traps. Not even in Cartoon Land.

Charlie Brown is a pretty shitty candidate. The little bald boy that could has integrity and a tiny glimmer of human decency that demands accountability. Washington and the local elementary school has no need for that. Lucy van Pelt is the unsung character of this show, as she manipulates Charlie and Linus into direct competition. Charlie wants a fair race, while Linus is impressionable. He’ll be Lucy’s mouthpiece and push her agenda. The other students are too stupid to notice and they vote Linus into office.

Charlie and Sally always loved to play Running Scared with their parents’ closet.

A bonus episode is included with the main feature. It breaks away from the Election themed focus to offer up a tale about a bully stealing marbles. Don’t you love how far we’ve come with these characters? A look into the failures of the election process to a kid stealing marbles. Backsliding has never been so recognizable as in the decline of this property.

In the end, You’re Not Elected Brown isn’t Bob Roberts. But, it’s also not a simplistic look at free elections. It’s a study of the foilables and failings of people put into direct competition for silly titles. Why do people fight so hard for bullshit titles that don’t carry the power that they believe? Because, they’ve been raised to believe in the myth of a role rather than the reality. If that’s a little much for you, Snoopy gets to fuck around as Joe Cool in this short. So, a dog with sunglasses…there’s always that.

That’s when the bald kid reached for his revolver.

The Package

You’re Not Elected, Charlie Brown comes
two featurettes. They’re both retrospective looks at the specials and more remembrances of Charles Schulz. There’s nothing that deluxe about them and it makes me wonder why Warner Brothers couldn’t dig up more material. Hell, I would’ve liked to known more about the creation of Joe Cool. Yet, all we get is a standard release.

Let’s see Diebold fuck us on this one.

7.7 out of 10