What

follows is a scattershot bit of random thoughts, links, and images that

showcase the lunacy that exists in the entertainment world and beyond.

Folks who remember my old missives from the old Steady Leak articles

should find this kind of stuff familiar. Folks seemed to get a kick out

of the first installment, and each Wednesday should fall victim to

another installment. Don’t expect anything deep here but something may

tickle your fancy.

ASSORTED DUMB SHIT


1. Rade Sherbedgia, Graffiti Artist.



Photo by George Smaragdis.


Graffiti is often a tool for the iconoclast, an undying method of speaking in defiance to oppression and a finger in the eye of injustice. Or, it’s a direct line to the homophobes of the world. In this case it’s a distillation of our entire culture.




2. This Party Sponsored By Tara Reid’s Nutsack.



Photo by Brian Costello.



“You haven’t RSVP’d to my slime party.”


“That is correct.”



“But it’s going to be the biggest slime party in town.”


“I believe you Man-Thing.”







3. “Meet me at the intersection of blank and void.”



Photo by Nick Nunziata.


I would like to elect myself as the namer of all unnamed roads henceforth. Here’s a few to get the government started:

Introspective Klansman Lane.
Unitard Boulevard.
Vermin Buttocks Parkway.
Soaking Asian Meat Circle.
Extermination Ave.
Delightful Warm.
Brandon Route.
Fear Them As They Fall Road.
Lessons in Genocide Drive.




4. The Shortest and Most Golden Bible Verse.


Photo by Nick Nunziata.


You ever read a book so heartbreaking that your piss starts sobbing?





5. The Official Plant Life of Irreversible.


Photo by Nick Nunziata.


“Nothing gets me more excited than Spreading Yew”


“Well, I’ll be! You are a dirty, dirty man.”



“No, you’re mistaken. I really love Spreading Yew. Nothing is more important to me.”


“You should get your priorities in order, you son of a bitch.”



“Spreading Yew is the only way to go. Wanna root?”





6. The Housing Market Truly Is Hurting.



Photo by Nicholas Reed.


It’s so juvenile that it might just be brilliant.





7. Goes Well With AFK Wine and BRBeer!



Photo by Walter Reel.


Betcha folks are going to be disappointed when they discover this is the tie-in for the Blu-Ray release of Living Out Loud.





8. Buy One Mercedes Get Condescending Attitude Free!


Photo by Nick Nunziata.


I was sitting outside the yogurt shop with my daughter, dozens of parking spaces all around when this Mercedes pulled up and parked in the only spot more annoying than the handicapped one. There the woman sits in her elite car waiting for the perfect moment to finish her call and carry her elite self inside to claim her elite products. If I was more ballsy I’d have rubbed my ballsy on her hood. As it stood I just gave her my best glare as she entered and exited, and then she drove away to have a much better life than me.



9. I Just Got a Crown of Thorns Victoria!



Photo by Nick Nunziata.


Anyone who uses this service is a moron, no exceptions. Cars for Christ. Basically, you donate your spare vehicles (because we all have a few of those lying around) that you won’t need when the Rapture [link, laugh track excluded] comes, write off the taxes, and let some zealot drive around town spreading His word in Your car. Fuck off.



10. A Blowback Economy.



Photo by Nick Nunziata.


There are situations where dead leaves need to go. When you have a lawn that will stagnate and die if covered with leaves, it makes sense to rake them up and mulch them or bag them or perhaps blow them out into the street. With that said, leaves on the ground is beautiful. Multicolored reminders of the seasonal change and a blanket for the ground that mixes up the old status quo. Where I live there are constantly fuckers blowing leaves around aimlessly in parking lots simply to get them off the sidewalks of clients, where the leaves are then manhandled by wind, cars, and life’s grand plan. They are leaves. Leave them the fuck alone. Blowing them around town is useless and annoying.




11. …And With That Bobby Flunked Graveyard English.



Photo by Jeremy Kinney.


“They’re comming to get you, Barbara.”


“Comming? What does that mean?”


“They’re comming. Just you wait.”




“Once I know the definition of comming I’ll adjust my neurosis to accommodate.”


“All will parish!”



“Comming? Parish? I ain’t going to some weird church service.”


“They’re commingaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!”




SNACKING SOUNDS.







12. Word Jumble: The Store!



Photo by William Speechley.


I get my anil spor online, but it’s good to know this dude’s out there.



13. 666k.



Photo by William Speechley.


I got a really nice watch in exchange for my sole.




14. You Can Smile With That Neck Brace, Right?



Photo by William Speechley.


Dodi Fayed’s forearm’s still in the glovebox? No sweat! Just smile!





15. “Kurt Russell Died in My Stool!”



Photo by William Speechley.


I had to go really bad, but wasn’t allowed to unload until I finally snuck into Athena’s Washroom.





16. And Now For Something Completely Different.



Photo by John Makarewicz.


ONE… MORE… DAY.








By the way:



























“Grandfather smells like a younger Great Grandfather!”




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