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STUDIO: Vivendi Entertainment
MSRP: $26.99
RATED: Unrated
RUNNING TIME: 90 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
Behind-the-scenes featurette
Deleted scenes
Short film
The Pitch
A psycho is sent to the Electric Chair for his crimes. He shrugs off the high voltage and demands bloody satisfaction.
The Humans
Michael Pare, Will Sanderson, Ralf Moeller, Jodelle Ferland, Thea Gill and Andrew Jackson
The Nutshell
Max Seed is a psycho that has committed various acts of violence throughout his life. We watch him brutalize babies, women, animals and any number of victims. Eventually, he’s put to death. But, that won’t stop him. He’s such a fucking hardcore bastard that he returns and wants to do even more deviant shit. This is Uwe Boll’s Seed.
Boll Production Value at work.
The Lowdown
Uwe Boll and bad movies go hand-in-hand. But, Boll stepped it up with this feature. He wanted to make something that in his warped mind could be construed as mature. Building a film around an undead serial killer and PETA animal torture videos doesn’t equal mature. But, the raging Kraut didn’t get that. He knew that the mouth-breathers of the world had to realize that footage of a dog being stomped to death during the film’s opening would set the bar. That bar being the little metal lever on the side of the toilet of Boll’s collective works.
If he concentrates hard enough, he can forget the Streets of Fire.
Max Seed has killed 666 people in the town of Sufferton over the last six years. If he were selling any rhyming wares, it would be a fucked-up take on Dr. Seuss. But, in the hands of Uwe Boll it becomes Serpico for the retarded. The film plays back and forth through the timeline of the Seed killings. Eventually, this chronal play is tossed out the window in favor of gore scenes. It’s a bloody mess in every single sense of the word.
Hold ’em down, boys! Red 5 is goin’ in!
Michael Pare makes for a strong hero in what barely passes for a B-Movie. He attempts to stop Seed from committing more violence, but he seems more intrigued with the actual casework. It would be like Sherlock Holmes stopping in the middle of a case to admire a pair of handcuffs. Like many details in Boll’s work, it feels like the start of a scene that must’ve meant something in the early days of the production. But, the Ritalin budget ran thin and Boll had to race to the completion of his next tax shelter.
Saying that the film is a waste is a misnomer. Being a waste implies that there was a sense of good that failed to be capture on film. No one was going to turn Seed into a good movie. It was a race to see who could drop the biggest turd in the bowl. Congratulation to Mr. Boll for proving that he can shit on the film-going public faster than any other auteur on the planet. You sir are a hero to the terrorists of the mind wherever they may roam.
This shit makes my dick hard. That and national fences. Well, that and fences and abolishing the estate tax.
The Package
Seed comes
to
DVD
with
a typical Uwe Boll flair. You get decent special features and a behind-the-scenes look at the production. There’s a short film about Uwe Boll using his professional boxing talents to beat the shit out of critics. If that wasn’t enough you get a copy of Advent Rising packaged in the set. Advent Rising is a decent game and one that you’ll keep revisiting long after this DVD has found its way into your garbage can.
Tits or get the fuck out.