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When I worked at a bookstore, there was this book called ttyl in the young adult section. It was a book written entirely in the format of instant messaging conversations, complete with emoticons, initialisms, and other annoying things. I remember joking with my co-workers about the proposed movie version of the book. Lesson learned: never underestimate the power of stupidity.

Deadline reports that Sony Animation just won a bidding war for an animated movie based around Emojis, those idiotic text message symbols for people who prefer to sum up their feelings with a cute picture of a pile of shit instead of using the infinite power of words. The director of Kung Fu Panda is attached to write and direct this cultural milestone.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t as cynical when The Lego Movie was announced, but at least there was a rich history of creativity and imagination behind that property, and getting Chris Miller and Phil Lord on board went a long way in proving that something unique was going to be done with the license. But Emojis? What in the name of Steve Jobs’ decayed corpse will Emojis bring to the table?

It’s times like these where I thank the indie market and television for bringing us interesting and adult stories, and when people decry the future of mainstream American cinema, Emojis (the movie doesn’t have a title yet, but I’ll bet my Burgess Meredith bobblehead that’s what it’ll be called) will be a strong weapon in their arsenal.

The Hateful Eight is released this Christmas. Please go see it so that we develop more Tarantinos and less filmmakers who want to make Emoji films.


For more news, you can follow me on Twitter @DrewDietsch