sword in the stone

This is the last time I write up a news piece about Disney taking one of their animated classics and spinning it into some live-action cash cow. We didn’t report on the Aladdin live-action prequel in development called Genies because Robin Williams hasn’t even been dead for a year. Oh, and it’s a stupid idea like most of these projects. Can we just assume that every Disney movie ever is getting a live-action update? I can’t wait for the anthropormorphic nightmares of A Goofy Movie and The Brave Little Toaster.

THR has the scoop on the newest film: a remake of The Sword in the Stone, Disney’s take on King Arthur’s origin story. Even though The Sword in the Stone is objectively one of Disney’s lesser animated outputs, it holds a special place in my heart. It also contains the best scene about romance ever executed in a children’s film (one word: squirrels). It’s a silly but sweet bit of fluff, which is why it makes total sense to bring Game of Thrones writer and producer Brian Cogman on as the screenwriter. I’m sure this film isn’t going to be a grim update to a movie where an owl teaches a kid the alphabet.

All I care about is that they cast someone good for Mad Madam Mim. My votes go towards Judi Dench and Helen Mirren. The rest of the movie can be as dour as Burton’s Alice in Wonderland and that Maleficent flick as long as the wizards duel is as fun as the original version. This won’t happen, but I want to at least put that out into the universe so the possibility exists.

Seriously though, no more Disney remake news for me. Someone else can take up this burden. Someone who already let their childhood die and cold and lonely death. I’m too immature to keep reportingthis stuff.

For more news, you can follow me on Twitter @DrewDietsch