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STUDIO: Warner Brothers
MSRP: $38.99
RATED: Not Rated
RUNNING TIME: 759 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
Unaired scenes
“One Tree Hill Fast Forward”
“One Tree Hill at 100”
“One Tree Hill Musical Stars”
Kate Voegele music video
Commentary on 2 episodes with series creator March Schwahn and various cast and crew
Gag reel

 

The Pitch

Teenagers have stuff to say about things, man.

The Humans

Chad Michael Murray, Sophia Bush, Hilarie Burton, Lee Norris, Moira Kelly, Barry Corbin and more!

The Nutshell

Tree Hill, North Carolina is a complicated town with serious problems. These problems are usually solved with contemporary music and long stares at the local lakes. This is High School and they have serious problems. Serious problems that involve smart phones and hair care products. These are the tales of One Tree Hill.


The process of becoming The Hollow Man takes time. First, you enter the Kevin Bacon phase.



The Lowdown

When in the hell did it become acceptable for every television show to jump ahead four or five years in its plot? This season of One Tree Hill starts four years after the conclusion of the previous one. The gang decides that they have to return to Tree Hill, so that they can put their lives together. Their lives include impossible dream scenarios that involve bands fronted by Kevin Federline. Realism isn’t a concern of the showrunners, so why should it bother the viewers?


After the cable guy loses his pants, there’s no dialogue. What exactly is going in my mouth on Page 5?

Series stud Nathan has gotten into a bar fight during the flash-forward which has turned into him into a bearded cripple. He still has his angst and spends most of his time sulking pool-side. But, love’s going to change him. Well, that is if they can keep the flashbacks to High School at a minimum. This season moves backwards and forwards through time more than Doc Brown’s DeLorean. But, what set this season down the toilet for me was the introduction of Mia.


Never let go, Chocolate Thunder. Never let go.


Mia is the type of guest-casting that has kept the WB and then the CW firmly as a joke network. But, before you can get too annoyed by that, there’s the stereotypical angry step-parent. Daphne Zuniga shows up to fill this thankless role, as she cashes a check on the viewers that were too young to remember Spaceballs. If you’re expecting more than this, then you’re watching the wrong kind of show. Modern teen television is dedicated to conformity through mass repetition.

This series hit the centennial marker this season. 100 episodes of this brooding teen shit is enough to make me lament the days of 90210. When did teen shows become so stupid? I’m not saying that memories of Brian Austin Green watching his friend get shot in the gut are better than this. It’s just that at least they tried to do something back then. The effort on One Tree Hill barely passes for creative apathy. Such a waste.


Crippy McDunk still gets his poolside hoops on.

The Package

One Tree Hill – The Complete Fifth Season comes
to
DVD
with
a standard offering. You get tons of promo footage for the show’s 100th episode. Plus, there’s some musical trappings thrown onto the mix. The A/V Quality is standard quality for a modern show. There’s no great flaws, outside of the lame nature of the show. If you’re a fan, then you’re going to pick this up. Hell, if you’re a fan…you’re probably outside of the CHUD demographic. Everyone else would be wise to avoid this release.


The stuff that keeps XHamster in business.




3.9 out of 10