Mondo Halloween

The Halloween franchise has done its best when it comes to utilizing the most clichéd subtitles for its multiple entries. We’ve had The ReturnThe RevengeThe Curse, (oddly, these all follow the same naming conventions as The Pink Panther movies. That can’t be a coincidence, can it?) and everyone’s favorite, Resurrection. This series is so unmotivated that there are two films called Halloween II! Not wanting to dishonor this proud history of lazy titles, the newest entry has taken inspiration from Batman, Superman, and its own fourth outing by dubbing this eleventh film Halloween Returns.

Aside from just being a silly name (as fellow Chewer Miles said to me, “Halloween returns each and every year.”), it would seem that this film’s title is purposefully alerting people to the fact that the Rob Zombie duology is being disregarded. Though I am known to playfully defend his second stab at the franchise, I don’t foresee anyone seriously lamenting the loss of Mr. Zombie’s interpretation of The Shape.

The plot synopsis that Moviehole dug up sounds like a feature length version of the opening from Jason X (the entry I use to judge if people are good or evil), which could provide some fun but hardly any scares:

The now 18-year-old child of one of Myers’ victims plays a central role along with the child of a cop whose long been obsessed with Myers’ case, even putting it before his own daughter. Myers is now on death row and the two kids with their own personal vendettas against the killer sneak in to watch his execution. But when things go awry and Myers escapes, the pair, along with their friends, find themselves in the firing line.

A prison setting is different, and at this point in this admittedly diminished franchise (for all the crap I’m giving these films, know that Halloween is one of my favorite films, I’ve seen all of the movies more than any other horror franchise, and since Halloween H20 I’ve seen each movie in the theater twice), I’ll settle for something stupidly fun.

My only disbelief in this being a worthwhile movie is the inclusion of writers Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton. Dunstan has also been announced as the film’s director, according to Variety. Dunstan and Melton famously took over the Saw franchise beginning with Saw IV, but their most *ahem* accomplished projects were The Collector and its sequel, The Collection. If you want to read the only thing you ever need to read about The Collector, take a gander at our Glorious Leader’s Movie Microscope about the film. Then come back and weep with me for the future of Michael Myers.

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