STUDIO: Classic Media
MSRP: $29.95
RATED: Not Rated
RUNNING TIME: 506 minutes


The Pitch

The animals of the Dark Continent raise a retard to be an even bigger retard. 

The Humans

Lee Tockar, Brittney Irvin, Tabitha St. Germain, Paul Dobson and Doron Bell

The Nutshell

In a far-off presumably African land, George rules the jungle. He’s got a pet elephant named Shep, some simian advisors and friendship from encroaching settlers. Life is good if you don’t factor in the hi-jinks from foiling the weekly villain. Laughs are aimed low to the ground and they only connect with the Preschool set. Fans of the classic Jay Ward series will find very little entertaining about this iteration.

It’s time to sacrifice this animal to our non-Anglo Saxon God.

The Lowdown

What do you do when you can’t come up with an original cartoon? You look for intellectual properties that are willing to be brought into the new era. Cash changes hands, ideologies are compromised and the world keeps on moving. From there, you’ve got to adapt the old idea to make it work for young kids. Throw in that blocky animation style from Samurai Jack or The Powerpuff Girls. Then, tack on two girl power lead characters in Ursula and Magnolia. What about episode length? It’s too long for the Ritalin monkeys! Split it into two Spongebob-sized adventures.

Bitches love the furries.

Twenty-three episodes of George of the Jungle has revealed nothing to me. It’s the same show that was it was from the first minute of the first disc all the way to the last episode. Same dumb jokes, same dumb setups and nothing new gleamed from watching the same pratfalls that were dated in Jay Ward’s version. I’m not asking for an Adult Swim version of the titular character. I just want a reason to watch this version and not dig out the classic series.

The cock is down there.

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a cartoon fail this bad in its premiere season. You wonder where the planning goes into the development of a turd like this. I don’t mean to spin so much of my time here breaking apart the dynamics of how this show came to be. But, one has to ask why there was no thought placed into making pathetic carbon copies of a better show. Where is the push to give this show its identity?

George of the Jungle – The Swingin’ 1st Season belongs to the realm of lackluster cartoon relaunches. There have been many way too many attempts to get an animated dead horse going again. But, this series isn’t going to attract young kids. It’s boring and uneventful. If that wasn’t enough, it’s weird in a Bizarro non-sequiter sort of way. Kids won’t process that, therefore they won’t watch. That’s the worst thing that can happen to a cartoon….death by abandonment.

Gorilla isn’t amused by rain. He wants one thing…that ass.

The Package

George of the Jungle: The 1st Swingin’ Season comes
with a featureless offering. There’s not even an option to change subtitles. What the hell is up with that? If you’ve got really, really young kids…I’d recommend a rental. But, everyone else would be wise to avoid it. Truly horrible in every regard.

Then, this big fucker swung down from trees. No loin cloth at all. I swear that his spearchucker was THIS BIG!

1.2 out of 10