Today the Egyptian government announced that their health and interior ministry is trying to dispel rumors that a mobile text message is being sent around and is killing people. I crap you not.
Sounds like a movie, yes? I seem to remember one where hot girls receive calls on their cell and die. I also recall one where young schoolgirls in uniform watch a video and die (in English and in Japanese). And then there was that website that killed people. And that video game that killed people.
Sounds like a trend, yes? Studios will apparently buy any “horror” script where technology kills you. The problem with this is that audiences generally don’t seem to give a crap. Therefore, in an attempt to get rich and piss off audiences worldwide while also promoting Kaczynskian anti-technological views, I have begun writing a script called Killer App.
Killer App is simply about a mystery PowerPoint presentation that kills everyone who sees it. The presentation gets posted on SlideShare, ends up going viral and all hell breaks loose. Lotus buys out Microsoft. Middle managers, as a species, become extinct. MBA admissions drop to near zero. Bill Gates buys an iPhone. Cats dog dogs. The movie ends with the release of a virus that destroys every computer in the world. Kinda like the end of Fight Club or the end of Eagle Eye, except that it makes even less sense.
Sounds terrible, yes? It’s why I’m positive it will sell. Keep an eye out for a 2011 straight to DVD release starring Jim Carrey as Bill Gates and Family Ties‘ Michael Gross as Steve Jobs.
Behind every great book adaptation is a forgettable first try. — By Ryan Covey