Fashion Tips.


I am a rugged cunt. I know this. People tell me this. I’m a tough.
A suburban rogue. Nails. Balls deep in everything I do. Once, I was a
dapper motherfucker. Now, I can get by with my charm and my Creature from the Black Lagoon sweatshirt. But not everyone is as lucky. Allow me to lend a helping hand. Fashion advice from a gentleman.

  • If the word “Hollister” covers more than 30% of your body you have made a grievous error.


  • If you have a pastel shirt with the collar up, you have made a grievous error.


  • If you have found a way to work Crocs into your “going out” attire, you have made a grievous error.


  • If you have the Superman or Batman logo on your shirt, it has to
    be accompanied by a less than gigantic belly or else, you have made a
    grievous error.


  • If your insignificant other or pet features prominently on your clothing, you have made a grievous error.


  • If you have a retro Star Wars shirt on, you have made a grievous error.


  • If you are wearing a prequel Star Wars shirt, you have made a Gen. Grievous error.


  • If you are advertising a band whose members died before you were born, you have made a grievous error.


  • If you are wearing denim on more than one portion of your anatomy, you have made a grievous error.


  • If your shirt is tight enough for us to know where you were born, you have made a grievous error.


  • If your outfit accentuates your exposed midriff folds of skin, you have made a grievous error.


  • If you are wearing shorts and hose you either work at Hooters and are dumb or, you have made a grievous error.


  • If you are wearing swag from the theatrical release of Underworld, you have made a Grevioux error.


  • If you have a belt that is half as thin as your belt loops, I hate you. And you have made a grievous error.


  • If you are wearing a cowboy hat and it’s not for laughs, you had
    better have shit on your shoes and calloused man hands. Or else, you
    have made a grievous error.


  • If you are wearing a sleeveless blouse and have flabby arms, you have made a grievous error.


  • If you are a woman and combine mushroom cap hair with tight polyester, you have made a grievous error.


  • If you are wearing a CHUD.com shirt. You are 55% on your way to being closer to Jesus.

- Nick Nunziata has made his share of grievous errors.

And now… a Mary Worth War Strip from the vault…


Click the image to Large It Up!

All apologizes to the creators of the strip. This intended as parody only and not an attempt to be the best thing ever.