And not quickly, either. It’s going to be long and drawn out. I’ll give them blood transfusions so I can keep working on them for weeks.

Simple as this- if you contribute to the (sadly inevitable) sucess of a product that pushes Nintendo further away from making anything of interest to gamers, I’m going on a rampage. I’d sooner they went back to making playing cards than see them reduced to this.


If you watched the horror that was Nintendo’s E3 Press Conference this year you’ll know what I’m talking about. I sat in that theater on one of the blackest moments for video gamedom, and saw true evil. When Ravi Drums popped up and made himself look like an idiot with no coordination, it was silly. When Miyamoto popped out, it got depressing. When the entire band started playing, I wondered what level of hell I had landed in.



Think I’m joking? You don’t know what’s it was like, man. You watched it on G4 or on a computer screen. You weren’t stuck there in the Kodak theater (the place they hold the Oscars, no less), watching these demons tear down the world around you.

First off, it’s not a game- it’s a music simulator. You pick from a group of songs (that contains such classic and knee-slapping anthems as “Yankee Doodle” and “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”) but don’t actually hit notes, you just freestyle them with the remote and nunchuck. I don’t know what the hell Nintendo’s doing- the main factor in Guitar Hero‘s success was that it made you feel like you were actually playing the instrument. Only weird Air Guitar players could possibly get into this, and hell, it might even be too close to handling a real instrument for comfort.

The other big question is what the fuck is up with the Midi sounds in the game? They couldn’t even record the real instruments for this?



With one press conference Nintendo managed to kill every bit of good will the hardcore gaming community felt towards them. We liked seeing them being successful and profitable and it was nice to see them get back on top, but now they’re abandoned the people who kept them afloat all these years and want to do nothing else than grab your Grandma’s money.
 
This “game” just fails on every level. Please, please, don’t make it a success. We need Nintendo to go back to making at least their one game of interest a year, and you probably like your family.