Everyone likes to complain about and deride the Transformers franchise, but you know what? You still went and saw them. You still gave them your money, and if you’re Chinese, you probably gave them that money multiple times. Since cash rules everything around us, we’re guaranteed more of these monstrosities. But, because the universe has a fantastic sense of humor, those films are about to get worse.

Akiva Goldsman (looking at his IMDb page is like having a staring contest with Medusa) has been brought on board to head up a “writer’s room” that will plan out multi-part sequels and even spinoff films. Yes, even Transformers is copying that Marvel model. I have to believe this means that Beast Wars will be getting savaged for this universe.

I ditched on this franchise after the second entry, which was one of the most aggressively inane experiences I’ve ever had in a theater. From most accounts, I haven’t made the wrong choice in staying away. If the box office returns are to be believed, then some of you Chewers must have a defense you can present to me. I’m being serious right now: Is there anyone who is willing to stand up for the Transformers films? Who amongst you wants a Transformers shared universe? What hath Marvel wrought?