mallrats banner

I don’t hate Kevin Smith but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t soured on the dude. Clerks II has some base humor going for it but not much else. Both Red State and Tusk were big disappointments (an interesting one and a disastrous one respectively), and the less said about Cop Out the better. The guy hasn’t done anything head-turning since Dogma, and he doesn’t seem interested in making movies to hone his craft or say anything. There’s nothing specifically wrong with that kind of mentality, but it does contribute to the kind of junk food movies that I don’t feel as inclined to partake of anymore. Mallrats was his first real junk food movie, but comparing it to the rest of his filmography, Mallrats is like a pack of Oreo cookies sitting on the shelf next to dollar store Cheetos ripoffs. It’s not good for you, but it’s pretty satisfying.

Now, Kevin Smith has announced via his Hollywood Babble-On podcast that he will be adding Mallrats 2 to his ever-expanding list of eventual movies. Smith says that the script is halfway done and that they are looking for financing. There’s some touching stuff about the producer who got Mallrats made (James Jacks, who passed away last year), and I can’t harp on the guy for wanting to make a movie as a memorial to a friend. That feels too low even for me.

I’m not going to put all my money on Mallrats 2 getting made though. First off, Smith has four films in the pipeline already: Yoga Hosers (which is in post-production), Helena Handbag (ugh), Moose Jaws (please be halfway good), and everyone’s most anticipated (?), Clerks III. Considering that Smith was very adamant about his retirement just a few years ago, his change of heart leads me to believe that his attitude towards making movies is a little wishy-washy.

The big deal about Mallrats 2 really has to do with the returning cast. Jason Lee’s Brodie is a must, but I don’t know if working with Kevin Smith ups the amount of engrams in his system. If it wasn’t for his IMDb page telling me otherwise, I would have assumed Jeremy London had disappeared into the Appalachian mountains instead of staring in Asylum Studios dreck like The Terminators. Then there’s Shannen “crazy hot or hot & crazy?” Doherty, Ethan Suplee (…yeah, they’ll get Suplee. A mini-My Name is Earl reunion? Yay!), and Batfleck. If this was the movie that rekindled the friendship between Smith and Affleck (yo, fuck Jennifer Garner), I’d be okay with its existence.

Otherwise, this is pretty lukewarm news for me. I’m sure there are some people out there who are excited about it, and I want hear why you are excited in the comments and on the forums. Maybe it’ll rub off on me. And if you need a soapbox to defend/deride Kevin Smith, those same comments and forums are ready and waiting. Snootch to the nooch.