STUDIO: Bloody Earth Films
MSRP: $19.98
RATED: Unrated
  Short Film: Chef Boyardemon
Short Film: The Roaring ’20s
Music Video: Devils Everywhere
Essay by director Joseph R. Kolbek

The Pitch

A creature attacks a sex camp.

The Humans

Tina Krause, Jeremiah Bruckart, Dan Petit, Andy McGuinness and Tom Thatcher

The backyard of many a rural Indiana hideaway.

The Nutshell

Blood & Sex Nightmare is a tale about a young couple heading to a rural Adult Entertainment resort. Amy and her boyfriend Nick are trying to find a way to get pass the death of Amy’s father. So, they decide to fuck in the woods. The only problem is that the camp is plagued by a monster. So, it’s time for some blood and sex.

It’s Arts & Crafts.

The Lowdown

Fucking and horror go hand-in-hand. There’s always the basic setup to get into the meat of the story. Then, it becomes a configuration of moments. This film is no different than any big horror franchise in that regard. That’s why I had a hard time with the narrative when it broke into a series of vignettes to close out the feature.

Blood & Sex Nightmare opens on the funeral and the aftermath. The Asian lady that plays Amy is a nice little piece of ass. But, we never get anytime to scope her out. It’s all talking until we get the action packed last half of the film. The focus is so scatter-brained in this section that we’re left wondering what to care about.

Time to make the sex donuts.

Director Joseph Kolbek is able to make lemons into lemonade with this film. Someone should smack me in the mouth for making such a shitty analogy. But, it’s apt. I’ve never seen someone due so much with so little in terms of a horror sex romp. But, my forays into the subgenre have been light. Give or take a Bare Wench Project and I’ve got shit to do with it.

What it all comes down to is that you can’t expect much from a film dedicated to scares and tits. You can find cheap entertainment in these poor man’s luxuries. But, you never get anything to talk about. That’s not a bad thing. It’s just a simple statement of what is and what shall be.

Ogden Nash’s Quicker Liquor is open for business

The Package

Blood & Sex Nightmare arrives on DVD with some fun special features. We get a look at the short films of the same creative team. I see a lot of similar themes and setups. But, what matters is that I see growth. If you’re a student filmmaker, this is a great look at working on a shoestring budget. A music video and a rather informative essay are also included.

is pretty decent for an indie horror movie. Well, this film is a hair below indie. That’s not a slam. It’s just that you’re going to see a lot of the haze and edge enhancement that pops up from slightly above consumer grade equipment. The audio is a standard Dolby track, but it’s pretty clean.

In the end, Blood & Sex Nightmare is an entertaining romp. You can’t expect more than a Cracker Jack treat from this. But, who cares? Hollywood was built on trivial pursuits. I just wish that this trivial pursuit had a better story. That and more tits. Tits can save anything.

Somebody has got a date with the ‘Funk.

2.0 out of 10