The Scriptgirl saga continues. I’ve gotten a couple of truly hilarious emails from people about this (including one from a guy named Andy Donovan, who sent a note from his work email (apparently he works at Amerix Corporation credit counseling) in which he calls me ‘pathetic’ and says ‘I focus on her supple chest cannons and exotic features. Who cares if she’s right, or wrong, or if her back-story smells like five day old tuna?’ What a thing to be doing on company time, Andy), and the latest purports to be from Scriptgirl herself. It certainly has ‘ScriptGirl’ in the sender line and it comes from scriptgirl@an-email-address-it-wouldn’t-be-
hard-to-procure.edu, but beyond that I can’t vouch for the authenticity of the sender. Here’s the message (I retained the formatting):
A couple of thoughts on your piece about me yesterday…
First and foremost…no, I am not the Shop Erotic spokeswoman. According to my extensive (thirty second) google search, her name is Miyoko Fujimori, a half Japanese titan of the “marital aides for work-a-day housewives” industry, while I am half Thai and really do work as an underpaid office monkey in Hollywood (some of the details of my employment have been exaggerated for ‘comic effect’ which might explain the needle pinning on your ‘bullshit’ meter.)
Don’t be too hard on yourself…the finer ethnic distinctions between Asians are often lost on Western observers. And to be honest, I probably couldn’t tell you and Andrew Sarris apart. You all just look like white devils to me.
Also, given your low opinion of my little show and general distaste for me personally, a complimentary Double Platinum Membership to the ScriptGirl Fan Club probably doesn’t strike the right note as a token of my esteem.
Since you seemed so tickled by the Scorpion Anal Stinger in the vid clip that
accompanied the article, I would very much like to send you the largest, most
powerful rectal vibrator/dildo/butt-plug device in the Shop Erotic catalog, and
hope only that you will use it on yourself repeatedly with my compliments!
Well, Purported Scriptgirl, I have to admit that you and Miyori, if you are not the same person, do look alike to me. If the problem here is that my round eyes can’t tell you folks apart, my apologies.
And most people couldn’t tell Andrew Sarris and I apart, as we’re both brilliant thinkers on film.
As for the rest, thanks for the thoughts and wishes. I’d be happy to accept a self-butt-fucker from you, and possibly also set up an interview so we can talk about who is the guiding force behind your YouTube broadcast and who feeds you erroneous stories on those occasions when you stray away from recapping what was in Variety this week. Thanks!
Behind every great book adaptation is a forgettable first try. — By Ryan Covey