I think I’m a curmudgeon, because Scriptgirl, the new YouTube ‘phenomenon’ who has also found a home on Aint It Cool News, gets on my nerves. Attention whoring irritates me*, and this whole Scriptgirl thing just feels like nerdbaiting. Her backstory – that she works for a lecherous but non-web savvy producer who demands daily script sales reports – reads like the kind of bullshit I thought the web shed almost a decade ago when Drew McWeeny stopped writing in character and allowed himself to become the really great film critic that he is today. And while I love tits**, the ‘sexy reader’ thing that Scriptgirl has going on just seems like a lower production value version of the bimbos on Access Hollywood.

So who is Scriptgirl? When I made a message board thread about her, loyal Chewer Tieman piped in with a clue: she looks almost exactly like the hostess of Shop Erotic, a home shopping show dedicated to dildos (yes, on basic cable). It’s impressive that Tieman knows who the hostess of the show is, and bespeaks a certain amount of perversity on his part***, and going to the woman’s MySpace page I have to say that the similarities are stunning. Same glasses, case closed!

I looked up Shop Erotic on YouTube and found a hilarious clip (The Scorpion Anal Stinger!), but I’m not completely sold. The woman on Shop Erotic sounds different from Scriptgirl, but then again, Scriptgirl is reading off cue cards while Shop Erotic girl is ‘improv’ing. It’s possible that the actress uses different voices for each gig, just going a little lower for Scriptgirl to get that ‘serious’ vibe. I did note that Scriptgirl and the Shop Erotic girl both have twangy ‘r’s. A midwestern upbringing?

Here are clips; first is the irritating Scriptgirl, next is the Shop Erotic girl. Here’s Shop Erotic girl’s MySpace. Are these the same people, or is it a coincidence? Who is the real Svengali behind Scriptgirl? If Scriptgirl is Shop Erotic girl, will you keep masturbating to her on YouTube or will you go rent the softcore pornos she has made?

*Ironic, I know.

** A lot.

*** Or he works for them. Which isn’t as funny.