A couple months back I was offered the chance to review some booze for Chud. I liked the idea of getting free booze. Then another opportunity to review booze came up, and I was hard pressed to say no. This one took me a while to finish, mostly because I got three bottles of Vodka, all flavored. Hopefully, I will be able to recover.

About: When it comes to flavored vodkas, none come close to matching the variety and flavor of Three Olives.  Other vodkas give you merely a “hint” of flavor, while Three Olives goes through several rounds of development, paying close attention to flavor, aroma and, after-taste.  It tastes and smells like the real thing – and that’s the difference.  Three Olives is dedicated to providing the biggest and boldest flavor possible – and with that, let us introduce Triple Shot Espresso, Root Beer, and Tomato.

Three Olives Vodka is made using only the finest ingredients, which at a first glance may appear to be grain neutral spirit and demineralised water, but as in life there is very often much more than meets the eye.


JUST A SHOT: Not very good. Meant to be blended in a Bloody Mary (what other purpose could it have?), by itself I was not into it. But I don’t often take shots of Vodka solo, unless it is pure vodka, and I am in Russia. Which I haven’t been in quite some time. Just saying. If someone wants to send me there, I’m all for it. We can do shots there. On me.

MIXED WITH ITS PROPERS: Um, I don’t like to admit this… but I will. I made myself a Bloody Mary with this and put on The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (still my favorite film from last year). And every once in a while, I would make my self a refresher. Well, it’s a three hour movie, and I probably made myself three or four drinks, and the problem with making your own hard alcohol drinks when you’re by yourself watching movies is that you start to guestimate. NOTE TO AMATEUR DRINKERS: Measure your shit, don’t eyeball it. Yeah. So, what I’m saying is, when I woke up the next day, I was still a little drunk, because I hit that point of saying “hey, yeah, whatever, I’m fucking drunk, I don’t care. Shit, I don’t got to drive. Let me put on some fuckin’, motherfucking Akira Kurosawa, mother-fucker, yeah, shit, fuck you, motherfuckin’ Michaelangelo Antonioni. With your Blow Up. You’ve got mimes playing tennis.”

By that point, I put on a another movie, scrapped whatever ideas I had for a productive evening, and regaled myself with the idea that the only thing to do at that point was keep drinking. And so there you go. I woke up still drunk.

RATING: As a Bloody mary mixer it’s bloody great. I wouldn’t put it with anything else, though. Just saying.


JUST A SHOT: Like Kaluha without the creme. Better as a shot than the Tomato.

MIXED WITH ITS PROPERS: With this one, I mixed it with some soda, some root beer, and as a White Russian sub for the straight Vodka. This was weekend two.  By this weekend I felt like Mr. Science  with my experiments, and after spending a perfectly good Saturday and Sunday the week before hammered, I decided to take it a little easier on myself the next weekend. Except I failed. I – in the name of journalism got absolutely hammered on Saturday, though not as badly as the week before. But I learned a lot about life, and I enjoyed what I was drinking. This time, I had some Mad Men to watch, and it was addictive, and I think it contributed to my booze consumption. As I experimented with what worked best in the mix, I realized I should probably stop, and maybe get some sleep. And when I woke up four hours later on the couch, I got up, urinated like I was bob McKenzie after being stuck in the Elisnor brewery, and crawled into bed. The next day some hair of the dog got me through all of season One. And thankfully I was actually social on Friday night.

RATING: It’s a good mixer, and the problem with all of these is that it’s ninja booze.


JUST A SHOT: Tasty. Damn it.

MIXED WITH ITS PROPERS: Weekend three, and I’ve learned my lesson. I get two shots at this. Well, maybe three. I’ve got some Tony Scott films to watch. Well… this time I’m not going to fool myself and let it win. And I’m going to eat something. Yay me! Still, as I get to the near the end of Top Gun, I feel I should have some more. What the fuck. Why not?

THE NEXT DAY: Not a good plan.

RATING: This was my favorite of the three, maybe because I’ve never been a coffee drinker, and the Tomato one seemed best left for Bloody Mary’s.

ROUND UP: I’ve never been a big liquor drinker, mostly because I don’t feel as in control of the intake. Obviously. You can only drink so much beer, but here, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed these three weekends of non-sobriety. Woo. These are sorta girl drinks, in the sense that their blenders, so they would like work best for a party setting, where people want their vodka and cola to go down a bit smoother. That’s what these are and they work fine.