One thought that always puts my mind at ease when I go to bed every night is that the good people who make the horror movies that I get to write about are smarter than me. They are always coming up with fresh ideas and as a result, they don’t have to rely on gimmicks to get people to see a film.

You might say, “Kevin, isn’t the fact that they seem to make a slasher film for every bullshit holiday from Christmas to April Fool’s Day a gimmick?”

I’d argue that the holiday is the gimmick because it wouldn’t make sense to make a movie just because nobody had done one for that holiday yet. The fact that a killer sees some significance in these dates…that’s just life. That’s no gimmick. That’s reality, my friend.

And in the case of something like Lionsgate’s upcoming My Bloody Valentine 3D, you’re going to tell me that somebody would want to remake a movie that was nothing more than a gimmick in the first place?

Besides, if what you’re saying is true, then My Bloody Valentine 3D would be one big super-gimmick. Of course, I have no doubt that the decision to release the film in 3-D was made to serve the story.

And what a story!

Apparently, the story takes place in a small mining town and there was an accident. The lone survivor slips into a coma and wakes up a year later on Valentine’s Day and murders over twenty people before he is killed. Ten years later, a guy dressed as a coal miner starts murdering people with a pickaxe– in 3-D.

You can take a look at Empire’s exclusive full-size version of the poster by clicking here.

My Bloody Valentine 3D hits theaters on the only day that would make sense, January 16, 2009.