Tonight I finished a movie review, so I get to waste some empty calories on a mostly useless news story that informs you when you can slobber over a piece of advertising (the answer: during a TV show for which there is no slobber). That’s all. Information about an impending ad.

Today I almost wrote a really dumb editorial about spoilers and patience in the fan community. The many hundreds of words wasted in that article (to be published like a drunken phone call to an ex-girlfriend, surely) can be neatly summed up for you here: this too shall pass. Whatever anxiety you’re feeling over NEEDING to see footage from Avengers: Age of Ultron will come back to haunt you, in much the same way Sam Raimi’s Spiderman movies haunt you from the discount end cap of Targets across the country. There will come a time when everything you need to know about The Avengers’ cinematic dust ups will be MEMORIES! Think about that shit!

Don’t believe me? How about this: I lost sleep over not being able to see Wayne’s World 2 on opening night. It was so important to me, I literally tossed and turned. Now it’s sitting on that same Target end cap as a double feature DVD, and I find it difficult to rationalize spending $5 to own it (maybe the transfer sucks, I’ll wait for blu).

That article I was writing was super confused, but I think I’ve finally come to the point: enjoy this time. You may hate Age of Ultron a few months from now, but if the mere thought of it fills you with joy, hold on to that.