It is about fucking time someone came up with an idea for a zombie story. They found a way to work a very difficult concept with a myriad of pitfalls into a story that is worth printing on actual paper. Just when I was thinking that no one was ever going to finally tap into the idea of a zombie story.

It’s been too long since George A. Romero last tackled the subject in the 60’s, and now trees will die a yeoman’s death so a new zombie story can visit us. A zombie story! FINALLY!

Who better to bring the Zombie genre back to the world after a restless slumber than Devil’s Due, the publisher who exclusively distributes bad comic books. Their G.I. Joe titles made my stool bleed. Maybe Chopper Zombie will save me from myself.

It’s drawn by Scott Keating. It’s written Todd Livingston I presume. The plot involves a man who is crossed and sent into his own death in his own brilliant and toxic creation only to return with powers and vengeance! And a motorcycle!

It’s like Ghost Rider, but with more skin and less subtext! It’s like Swamp Thing but with transportation! News of this concept has apparently sent Marvel and and DC into a frenzy, planning their subsequent Chapter 11 proceedings in the wake of this much originaler and awesomer idear.

But it’s not just a comic! It’s a movie deal! A zombie movie deal!

Who better than to bring a zombie movie to screens than the man (Thom Beers) partially responsible for showing Bearded Men driving big rigs over frozen lakes (Ice Road Truckers), Tattooed Dudes screwing lug nuts tighter over chrome aftermarket items (Monster Garage), and Concerned Sailors hauling crustaceans onto grimy boats (Deadliest Catch)?


Thom Beers is producing Chopper Zombie and you aren’t. The comic book will be officially introduced to the world at the San Diego Comic Con this week, which means that our own Devin Faraci and Russ Fischer will be within 100 feet of it. They may even come into contact with Chopper Zombie, so if you were planning on getting involved in a menage a trois with them, it’s best you bring your hazmat flavored trojans with you.

I am uninstalling Final Draft off my laptop for I cannot compete with this.