What
follows is a scattershot bit of random thoughts, links, and images that
showcase the lunacy that exists in the entertainment world and beyond.
Folks who remember my old missives from the old Steady Leak articles
should find this kind of stuff familiar. Folks seemed to get a kick out
of the first installment, and each Wednesday should fall victim to
another installment. Don’t expect anything deep here but something may
tickle your fancy.
1. Zleep and Zlorp Could Not Be Reached for Comment.
Fucking Zurn? I don’t care if it is your damn name, Mr. Xyxxlys Zurn of the Maelcyx Nebula. Lose the ego and call yourself Amazing Plumbing or The Shitkiller, Inc. Fucking Zurn. Makes me wanna Slork my Quin. I don’t have time for no Zurn in my day.
2. The Quaintest Massacre.
Photo by Nick Nunziata.
“Hello?”
“Yes. How can I help you?”
“Yes, it would be my pleasure to assist you in your shatter!”
“Sir, he wouldn’t rather be anywhere else than standing over your losing battle!”
3. When Scientists are Fond of Word Jumble.
Photo by Nick Nunziata.
I seriously was dismayed to discover this wasn’t an available woman. I would drop my beloved family, my army of MILF conquests, my not-so-secret gay happenings, and my catfucking to get me a piece of some Hieroglyphic River Cooter. Damn. Those three words together get me wet like nobody’s business.
4. “I am Engorged for No Reason at All!”
Photo
by Nick Nunziata.
“Well Jerry, I took advantage of your cock hardening services when I realized that I didn’t use my hard cock when it worked fine on its own and I was younger and a little closer to attractive. Still pretty far from attractive, but closer. No one wanted my stiff member then and I am astounded that as an older and thicker man with a fabricated cockstuffs no one wants it now. Damn, maybe I should have spent that money on a casket for Momma instead of burying her all burlappy.”
5. But Tornadoes Never Ask for Directions.
Photo by Nick Nunziata.
President Bush’s plan to prevent a future Katrina was met with a mixed reception.
6. Here Lives Pussyface.
Photo by Nick Nunziata.
“Well boss, I can’t come in to work today because my vagina drifted up me again.”
“If you were a woman you’d understand. If only there was a place to…”
7. Where was This When I Was in High School?
Photo by Nick Nunziata.
Such simple instructions but so valuable. If only I knew I’d still have the amazing first-year Air Jordans I kickdiddled into my Homecoming date.
8. So Much Hotter Than Lacy Chabert.
Photo by Nick Nunziata.
If a Hieroglyphic River Cooter had lacy oral arms I’d cum4-ever.
9. Instant Frankenstein.
Photo by Nick Nunziata.
Finally a diagram showcasing the proper method to be slammed into the flattest.
10. This Only Applies To Huge Humans.
Photo by Nick Nunziata.
They spelled the warning wrong. It’s supposed to read KEEP CAR AWAY FROM HILL GIANTS.
11. Because Why The Fuck Not?
Photo by Nick Nunziata.
“Damian, slamming animal tops onto truck bottoms is the best idea you’ve had since the Hitler flavored water and the meat motorcycle!”
By the way:
“Mommy lets me put snowman eggs in my soda!”